Ah, a week and a half into my new job, I got something to show show :P But firstly, I need you all to know that Hong Leong employees are idiots, have no idea what marketing is, have no idea how to visualize, uncreative, anal, unorganized and well, down right stupid.
Contradicts themselves by telling us graphs are cool only to tell us 2-days later that graphs are boring. Not to mention the smart-ass that came up with the investment plan name. Come on, Himalaya? Seriously? The Abode of Snow? You guys work in a bank. Snow = cold = freezes. Add the word "finance" somewhere and you'll see how this is just not right.
However, after bashing our heads because of these dimwitted meatballs, we actually came up with quite an interesting idea. How to depict "financial uncertainty".
We have to quite literally write an email so long we could actually sell it as a 253-page novel to drill it into their fickle minded chowder-heads that is will work (or maybe we're just sick of doing this, FYI, this is option 10 and deadline was 3-days ago).
So for your sake, don't ever bank with HLB. They don't seem to know what they're doing. Not to mention they have this weirded-out method of motivation for the employees.
What is it?
Are you ready for this?
They have an anthem which the whole team sings every morning. Followed by vigorously punching the air.
I am broke, strangely free at the office and have been shitting all morning. So without further ado, let's get on with it.
I was telling JM this morning we should go to KL this weekend -- hang on, don't I live there? Yes and no. I am living in KL, except that it's actually Selangor. So anyway -- I said, "We should have like a mini road trip to KL this weekend dude," because he's been telling us about this ridiculously good pan mee in KL and that he really, really wants to take us there.
That was a month and a half ago and we've not gotten any closer to going there. This weekend should be it, "We could go get that FM Transmitter too!" he said. For those who didn't know, JM got himself a spanking new iPod classic (and bought a iPod nano 8GB as a birthday present for his dearly beloved too, how sweet) and is buzzing with excitement.
"I am so in love with the iPod man. So in love with it I think I love it more than I love her!" and he tells me he would hug it to sleep if only it was big enough, "Yet again, I might crush it,"
I give him 1 month. Then he'll just use the iPod as oppose to idolizing it like I did when I got mine 2 years ago, heh.
On the other side, I asked Nehneh if he would like to join us this weekend, if he is not going back to Penang, "Can't cha, I am going back to Penang," oh bloody hell, "But can you take Kenneth out?"
"Neh, I am not gonna babysit your boyfriend man!" I laughed at him. Sometimes our pretending-to-be-gay conversations can get really disgusting. Shocking that 2 straight blokes can pretend so well. I asked Neh to give me his number, "I bet you have it on speed dial,"
"@#$% lah, hahaha, here it is, 012-XXXXXXX and no I don't have him on speed dial!" and challenges me, "I bet you don't know JM's girl's number by heart,"
What? "Hmm, no I don't remember the number, why would that matter?"
"She's your titty boy's boy mah,"
"Yeah, I can remember my titty boy's number," crap, he just tricked me into saying that, "You jealous is it? My titty boy's titties is bigger than your titty boy's titties," god that's a lot of titties in a sentence.
"Mine no titties wan :( cha, what's with you and titties man?" Neh asks.
"What about it?"
"I don't know, you're best mate has got moobs, your housemate/niece has huge boobs and the girl you are after has got quite a rack as well,"
Now that he put it into perspective, "Woah, I never realized..." <--- honest to god! "Hahaha, I guess I like titties?" I've always thought I was more of an ass-person. Did I mention I took 30-minutes to find a parking space? And I still had to bloody walk for 2-minutes. Yeah, THE SECRET told me if I assume pretend that I already got the space, the space will present itself to me. What load of bollocks. I don't know why I wrote all that. But for those who actually had nothing better else to do, you are rewarded with my first ever attempt on green screen (actually its this software called Photobooth on the mac), it's pretty cool.
