Midweek Random Party

"Eh, so what's the occasion lah" I said.
"Dunno, my mom got this voucher, it expires at the end of the month." says Ju.
"Why not the weekend lah?" I ask.
"Not valid on weekends lah" she says.
"Friday?"
"Nope"
"Oh well..."

Me, me

Because I'm a frequent visitor of Joy's, now I kena. Alar. Why does it have to be this long?

Details, details and more details

Nicknames: Ah Beng, Beng, Uncle Beng, TheTall
B-day: 2 August
Age: 22 (going on 23)
Sex: I have a pole
Where do you live: In the sleepy hills they call Pearl. Where are ‘em pearls?
Pets: Right now, we kind have this “pet-bird” on our balcony. Took them 3 weeks to construct their nest. Now it just sits there and chill.
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Hair color: Stereotype dark brown
Hair length: Unpredictable
Eye color: Dark brown, if not solid black
Height: 6’3”! but I’ve lost 2cm! WTF?

Do you wear contacts or glasses?: 20/20 baby!
Do you have any piercings?: I used to have 9. Now there’s only 4 left.
Do you have a tattoo?: It’s overdue. Still is.
Do you wear any rings?: I’m not married. Don’t lah rush.
Do you have a certain fashion you follow?: Whatever the hell I want to wear and can afford.

Current News...

How are you today?: Battling a hangover an hour ago. Seems to have gone away
What pants are you wearing right now?: Some fisherman’s pants I got from Melaka.
What shirt are you wearing right now?: Shirtless.
What does your hair look like at the moment?: Messy-I-Just-Woke-up-from-a-tornado
What song are you listening to right now?: 23 by Jimmy Eat World
What was the last thing you ate?: 2 slices of cheese
Last person you talked to on the phone?: That would be…lemme check…Zach.
Last Dream you can remember: I dreamt me and Ian was sitting inside a gold CR-V, “Dude, didn’t your mom…like…sold this car already?” I ask. He replies, “Yeah, she did.” Why are we sitting in it? Then I realize we were in Johor and Ryan and Annie is sitting behind making pancakes on a portable stove. “Breakfast, anyone?” they ask. “Eh, at least wind down the windows lah, damn smoky lah the car.” Ian said, but he was holding a cigarette and smoking it backwards. My dreams are random.
Who are you talking to right now?: The bird, “Why so emo, birdy?”
What are the last four digits of your phone number?: 1213

Random Stuff..

If you were a crayon, what color would you want to be?: Blue.
What DVD are you going to buy next?: I just bought the entire 4 seasons of Scrubs, so I guess, Grey’s Anatomy.
What's the best advice ever given to you?: Live up for the moment.
What are your future goals?: Going to the next World Cup or catch a Man Utd game in England.
Do you like to dance?: I hit people when I dance. Long arms mah.
Worst sickness you ever had?: I made a cocktail, mainly vodka. Drank it. Tastes like crap. Got sick for 3 days. I wore winter clothing to sleep with the fan off.
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?: Wearing socks and slippers to college.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?: Would love to gain weight.
Where do you shop the most?: Anywhere, really. FOS is a must.

Even more random stuff...

How many kids do you want to have?: Depends on my bank account.
Son's name: Haven’t really thought of it. But we must share the same last name.
Daughter's name: The wife will decide.
Do you do drugs?: The painkillers the doc gave me few weeks back made me see things. Wheeeeeeee…
Do you drink?: Only when I meet Tuck at Ingolf’s.
What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use?: Dove
What sport do you hate the most?: Golf and American Football.
How many TV's do you have in your house?: One.
Do you have your own?: Nope.
Your own phone line?: I got. That’s my mobile lah.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: Please shoot me if I do.
Have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone?: I lost count of the amount of sprains I got from football and Futsal.
Who do you dream about?: Everyone, Family, Friends and so on. But sometimes, they are not who they are in real life.

Are you Romantic?

Do you believe in Love?: I guess so.
Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?: Right now? Nope.
Do you have a crush?: I still think I do.
Do you believe in Love at first sight?: Oh yes.
Where would you like to go on your honeymoon?: New Zealand. (Koh Samui in the cards!)
What song do you want played at your wedding?: Better Together by Jack Johnson
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: Her boobs eyes
Are you shy to ask someone out?: It depends.
Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with?: Her.

Girls on Guys (Girls only, unless you're gay or something.)
*I find these questions extremely pointless

Boxers or briefs:
Curly or straight hair:
Tall or short:
Six pack or muscular arms:
Good or bad guys:
Ears pierced or not:
Tan or no tan:
Dimples or not:
Stubble or neatly shaven:
Rugged or sporty:
Studly or cutie:
Accent or not:
Smart or dumb:
What sports should he play?:
Dependent (whipped) or independent?:

Guys on Girls (Guys only, unless you like to fondle tofu)

Sandals or thongs: Thongs!
Painted nails or not: Chin chai lah.
Regular or sports bra: Regular.
Bra straps showing or not: Shows also okay. If not showing, she may not be wearing one. Uh la la.
Cute n' mysterious or wild n' sexy: I like mystery.
smart or dumb: Smart long term, dumb short term
Dark or blonde hair: Unless I have this weird fetish for Ah Lians, dark hair.
Long or short hair: Long hair.
Curly or straight hair: Depends on the season
Dark, light, or crazy cool eyes: WTF is crazy cool eyes?
Long or short nails: Short.
Hat or no hat: Huh?
Good or bad girl: Sure.
Hair up or down: Down baby
Jewellery or none: A bit here and there.
Tall or short: Tall would be better.
Accent or no accent: If it’s authentic, why not?
Pants or dress: Dress please.
Tan or fair: Tan, I guess.
Freckles or none: Anything.
Shy or outgoing: Somewhere in between
Talkative or quiet: Errr, talkative type but knows when to shut up.
Pretty indoor chick or crazy party chick: Both.

Choices, choices...

Lights on/off: Huh? On? I dunno.
Sun or rain?: Rain please.
Do you like scary or happy movies better?: Old scary movies are awesome.
On the phone or in person?: In person works better.
Paper or plastic?: Papers!
Summer or winter?: Don’t think that’s a valid question. This is Malaysia, dammit.
Hugs or kisses?: Both please.
Chocolate or white milk: Errr…dua dua lah
Half empty or half full?: Mostly half full.
CD or DVD: DVD ler.
Vanilla or Chocolate?: Chocolate man!
Skiing or Boarding: Nope, kampung boy here.
Day or night: I’m nocturnal.
Sunset or sunrise: Since I don’t wake up at sunrise, I’ll choose sunset.

Favourites...

Colours: Blue, Orange, White and Black.
Food: Malayian food.
Fast Food: It’s a wonder how they could have a Burger King in Melaka but not in Penang
Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate chip
Sport?: Football!!
Animal: Dogs and cats
Music?: Right now, acoustic and a little emo stuff.
Song: 23 by Jimmy Eat World or Nerina Pallot’s Everybody’s Gone to War.
Band: J.E.W. ?
Number: 28
Actor or Actress?: Audrey Tatou, Zhang ZiYi and Liz Hurley
TV show: Sesat Lost & Scrubs
Clothes Brand: Don’t really bother.

Confess thy sins..

Gotten Drunk?: Too many times
Broke the law?: It should be “Have you not broke the law?” Because everyone breaks the rule.
Ran from the cops?: Heh, once! OK, twice. One for beating a red light and the other was because we were hanging out in Youth Park at 2am in the morning.
Tried to kill yourself?: Nah, got too many other things to live for.
Made yourself throw up?: Only when I could sense a massive drunk-ness coming up.
Been in love?: Not yet.
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: I got other ways to get out of trouble
Did/Said something to hurt someone?: By accident only.

Reach out and Tag someone...

1. Aja
2. Annie
3. Babe

and errr...who else?

Ahh...the neighbour!

Get to it!

Strange People

People might think that I live in Leader Garden Apartments. But I don’t. It’s just so happen that I have friends who live there. Yesterday, I went there again. After having a drink, it was inevitable that we would end up going there. Ryan got me in, pass the guards, so I could park inside and not walk a ridiculous distance back to my car. All the ‘free spots’ were taken, except for one. Well, at least it seems like one. It was the car wash bay. “Hmm, can I just park here?” I ask.

“Yeah man, park lah. Who the hell is gonna wash his car at this hour. Some more, it’s raining!” he replies.

So we park and went up to meet Denys and Jazz and ohmygawd, they have this incredibly cute Shizu (is that how it’s spelled?), I mean, everyone was just “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww” –ing away the minute he walks in.

Me: So Denys, where you working now? (Sees the puppy) Awwwwwwwwwwww!!
Ryan: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
Jazz: Hey Cash! (That’s the name by the way) Awwwwwwwwww!! He slipped!
Denys: Heh heh heh...

It’s so tiny! Pocket sized! I mean, even Denys’s other dog, a chiwawa was bigger.

After all that, we left, it was getting late. Almost midnight and there’s work tomorrow. So I headed to my car and would you fuckin’ believe it, a CR-V was parked awkwardly blocking my car and guess what…

HE WAS WASHING HIS CAR. It’s 12am for crying out loud! What’s with the executive attire? And it’s raining! WTF?!

I looked at Ryan and sarcastically said, “So, you were asking who would wash his car at this hour, huh?” I point my index finger towards him.

“Maybe we should go smoke a cigarette and wait for him to fuck off,” he notions for us to take a left and re-enter the building.

Sidelines

Our table was taken. The one on the poolside of Leader Garden Apartments. A bunch of chinesey people was seated there, before they felt a tad adventurous to hop in and out of the pool, fully clothed, at night.

Then were left with not much choice but the seat near the kiddy’s pool. We sat, stoned. Staring into the sky. Hoping time would just stop. “Hey man, how long has it been since your last relationship?” I asked Ryan.

“Woa, about a year and a half,” he answers after making an expression that made him look like he was solving some massive math equation, “what about you?”

Embarrassing as it is already, I made no effort to deny my lack of relationships, “This would be my sixth year.” I answered. And it struck me. I have been single for far too long.

He seemed shocked. Eyes wide open, mouth gaping as if waiting for a fly to enter and cough it out. He went on, “What about…” followed by a loud sigh to interrupt him, “No dude, don’t count flings lah, we’re talking about relationships now.” I justify my intrusion. It scares me though. That I can’t last long in relationships, that maybe I could have subconsciously favoured quick-fix flings.

“Have you like…ever, you know, fallen in love?” I question him, to investigate my state. “Well, once. I fell for this girl,” he hunches forward from his seat, and lowered his voice, slightly; “do you remember how I turn into The Hulk when I drink every now and then?”

Everyone remembers The Hulk.
“Yeah, why?”

He leans back into his chair, “Yeah, let’s say a huge part of it was still because of her,” he looks down, seem suddenly dejected, “I think I’m still hung-up over her.” He looks up.

“How long has it been?” I ask.
“2 years, maybe 3…” a smile creeps into his face, “Man, it has been so long, I can’t even remember. But I was crazy over her, in some ways, I’m still crazy over here. I love her. I’d do anything, anything,” he went on. “How about you, man,” big smile on his face. A cheeky one.

That’s the thing. It scares me to think that I’ve never been in love before. “Seriously? I don’t think I have, ever.” Now I look down, feeling gloomy.

“Never? What about Animal Driver?”

What? Where did that came from? “That was different, what I felt for her, I don’t think its love. It was just an unrelenting infatuation, I guess.” But when I think of it, “I think I did felt something, not for her, but the girl behind me in class, the one that whacks me for smelling like smoke.” She hates it when I smoke during our 5 minute break from a 2 hour long class.

“Whack?!”
“A friendly-whack lah, not really wan!” I replied.

He had never heard of this before. In fact, I’ve never really mentioned her. “So what happened?” he asks.

“What do you expect? The inexorable craze over Animal Driver made me looked over her,” says I. I feel like I’m on a jail-term, serving time for missed chances.

Can They Sink Any Lower?

Tech-Whiz

It’s always a bolt from the blue whenever my parents ask me anything about technology. It was strange how they suddenly ask me about iPods…

“So how many songs can you fit in there?” dad would ask. “This one can take up to 120 songs depending on the bitrate and format.” I replied.

“HUH?!”

Yeah, they don’t understand, I had to summarize and simplify, so I say “120 songs.” Then they realize, “Eh, no need battery wan ah?” mom asks. Of course need battery wan lah, it’s an internal one, “Over here,” I said as I pointed to the area I think the battery should be and then I pull out the cover that hides the USB head, “and here’s how you charge it and put songs in it.”

“Waaaaaah, damn advance, huh?”

A day or two later, suddenly dad had this unrelenting curiosity with digital cameras and images, “If I borrow my friend’s memory stick, could you transfer the siao-eng (photographs) over ah?” I was surprise that dad had learnt the term Memory Stick. And to hear him say it was unbelievable. I shrugged off my disbelief and said, “My camera uses a SD card ler, so no point borrowing his Memory Stick.”

I swear I could almost see a pair of huge sized 24 Times New Roman question marks appear on both his eyes. “Errr, dad, put it this way, different camera uses different memory cards to store images,” I said and extracted my SD card and show it to him, “see? That’s how mine looks like.”

“I want to use all these siao-eng (photographs) to promote my business, it’s been damn good and I want to further work on that,” he tells me, “so how do I get the siao-eng (photographs) back for you to…you know…Photoshop it.”

Now the size 24 Times New Roman question marks emerge in my eyes and my jaw dropping onto the keyboard. I can’t believe he said “Photoshop”. He said it. Wow. Trying to hide my contentment that my dad is no longer entirely clueless about computers, “Well, use this,” I stretch my arm to reach the CDr casing to grab a blank disc, “he should have a burner, ask him to put all the images here and bring it back to me for the Photoshop work.”

I want to explain to him about mega-pixels, just making sure because I damn pantang low-res pictures. “The more mega pixel only means the frame size is bigger, doesn’t mean the clarity is good.” I said. “I have no idea what you’re talking about but I think I hear him say 6 mega pixels and Panasonic,” dad replies. OK lah, that’s very good. “Panasonic produces decent images.”




If only they ask me questions like this more often.
Now dad walks around thinking he is some tech-whiz.

The Numbers

For some reason last night, my parents decided to watch the second season of Lost with me. Originally, it was my dad who got me hook to the first season. But they showed it on Thursday nights then, when it was also known as Tuckday to some of us. So watching it every week was not possible since we play Futsal on that day. “Meng ah, this show is fantastic man! It’s like Gilligan’s Island without the comedy, but drama!” that was what dad said to me once while I was packing my football boots and socks.

“Got Polar Bear somemore wan!”

But I figured my parents (especially mom) have been watching too much of it. I was out with mom today running some errands, “Meng ah, stop by Toto on the way home, yeah? I wanna buy number,” she said to me. I was driving, thinking, maybe I should get one too. Just for fun, who knows right? And since I already have the numbers in my head, might as well try it out. Because in season 2, these numbers kept appearing on screen, its one of the plots.

Just when I was gonna suggest to my mom to buy that number. I saw her holding a small piece of paper with number written on it. I peeked. Ohmygawd.

“MOM! YOU’RE BUYING THIS NUMBER TOO?!?!?!”

She was gonna buy the same number that I was gonna buy. “Aiyah, I watch Lost and these numbers kept appearing over and over again,” she justifies. “Just try lah, who knows.”

4 8 15 16 23 42, it’s the number the fat guy uses to win US$156Mil and also the number written on the hatch. Oh, they use the number to stop some timer too.

"I can finally partay!"

Yeah, that was his exact words when I arrive at the Masyarakat Penyayang Exhibtion Hall to visit the Westwoods and our long lost Feng-Tau band member, Alvin. Oh, it's their exhibition by the way.