For the past 2-weeks; I've been driving around, passed 3 road blocks and got stopped once on the highway for allegedly speeding at 122km/h at a 110km/h zone, though the initial pull-over was for the boss' tinted glass on the back passenger side.
I remember the stop vividly, "Tuan, tingkap banyak gelap lor," the officer states.
"Boss, ini tingkap memang sudah gelap wan," I replied, as I passed him my driver's license, "Semua model pun macam nih. Standard-issue lah."
As I wind up the driver's window to show him that the driver's side isn't tinted, he lifted his writing pad and went, "Oh, tadi ah, kat Juru sana, you speeding, 122km/h."
Wait, didn't he stop us for the tinted windows? Bollocks. Confirm cari makan.
We gave him a blank stare, "Aiyoh tuan, boleh bagi chance lah, baru lepas 2km/h saja," the boss broke the awkward silence.
"Tak leh lah, sudah bagi extra 10km/h," he says, "So macam mana?"
Here we go, "Aiyah, ok lah, kena saman lah," I concede. But he didn't seem keen on this.
"Sure? Saman RM300+ tau?"
Ish. We were quite sure we hadn't exceeded the speed limit, or at least were cautious enough to not get caught. We actually thought of taking this further, demanded that we needed more proof. Yet again, that would involve copious amount of hours spend going up and down floors in the police department and endless forms to fill in and yada, yada, yada. "RM50 boleh?" we suggested. Because of the obvious inefficiency, taking the easy way out is favoured.
"OK," he agrees and asked me to place the bribe under my license.
"Tapi tuan, lesen aku dengan awak lah," I said.
"Ini bukan lah, ini IC ang!" he holds up my MyKad.
Oh shit, "Oh sorry tuan, haha," I passed him my license (along with the RM50) this time as he return my MyKad.
After he pretended to do some writing and secretly slipping the money into his pocket, he returned and passed my license back and said, "Lain kali slow ah."
"OK tuan," and we sped off.
Strange enough, none of them (and us) didn't realized that my driver's license had already expired. And he was holding it up to his face. Yet, -- to our benefit -- he still couldn't spot it. So much for them upholding the law. They seem to be more keen on something else, eh?
So...I've been driving around for 2-weeks with no license.
Now that was a close-call.
Monday, 24 September 2007
Wednesday, 19 September 2007
I Bought A New Bag, finally
Since last year, my beloved adidas green bag -- which I bought during a sale at a sensational price -- is falling apart bit by bit from the inside. Because this is my all-terrain, multipurpose bag, the outer layer is starting to dry up, causing it to fall off in all the compartments. Everytime I dig out my iPod or my wallet or camera or whatever, it's covered with a green sand-like debris. Refer to the picture. I got that bunch from just randomly sticking my finger into the one of the compartments. So you can imagine how much debris is in it.
And yeah, I've emptied it before. Just like people with dandruff issues, it just keeps coming back, unrelentingly.
So on a gloomy, wet Monday morning, I asked if she would like to join me on a quick shopping spree, "Hey, wanna go to Queensbay Mall or BJ for lunch?" I disguised my intention.
She replied, "Umm, sure, let's go Queensbay Mall," in which I agreed. BJ is kinda like the Mecca for Ah Beng apparels and accessories anyway. If it ain't for the Ah Bengs, then it's for the Ah Lians.
We arrive at Queensbay Mall (QBM) and proceeded to park the car downstairs, by now I've told her that I've tricked her into this by disguising it as a lunch outing, "Shall we eat first or go look for your bag first?" she ask.
Knowing how lunch makes people sluggish and sleepy, I replied, "Let's shop first."
The basement level is our starting point, we proceeded to the first shop in-sight, which was Adidas, after making a remark, "This is the weirdest looking McDonald's ever!" Well, it was. It's too fancy to be McDonald's. Fancy tables, fancy everything.
And I must say, the array of - or lack there of - bags in Adidas was terribly boring. There were only like 5 bags. Out of 5, only 2 were normal sling bags. And both were identical, one black one blue, "Ewww, no velcro! Don't want."
Next shop: Nike. "Ooo, look, Man Utd jersey! Wahhhhh *drools* I don't have this one yet."
"BAG MENG, BAG!" she nags.
"Right, bags, bags..." and I found none that appealed to me. Yet again, no variety. Ugly selections.
My attention quickly veered onto the shelves, "Ooo shoes! Look shoes!! So pretty...woah! Gold swish!"
"MENG! BAG!"
Then in a what-were-we-thinking moment, we went to the east-side of the mall, where all the hip and trendy stuff were located. Stuff like Radioactive and Tropicana, "Man, this is all to college-y lah," she squirms with disgust.
"Yeah, back in college I'd do anything to wear those!" says I, "Man, we're getting old."
"Don't you own like 2 Radioactive Ts?"
"Sha'up."
Even so, we walked in to each and every shop just to satisfy our curiosity and to see what kids are up to these days, in terms of attire, "Should we just buy our lunch and eat it at the office," she speaks to her wristwatch as if she's a mental patient.
I hated the idea. Ever since watching An Inconvenient Truth, I've minimize my take-away to a minimal, we do not need to pollute the world with more packaging, "Nah, we just chuck everything down and run to the car," then I realize we work in Advertising, where we print beautiful stuff for people to throw away.
"Yer, this is like what they wear during those Gay Nites at MOMO," her eyes gazed onto the shelves on the far-end of the Radioactive shop, towards a set of trousers.
"Does this bag look good on me?" I tried on one of the bags, the coolest one in the bunch, "Doesn't huh? I can't quite pull it off," I placed the bag back at the top of the shelve. The bag has some sort of pixel art on the front panel, on a beige base.
We passed yet another Adidas shop, the Adidas Classics, "Look! Shoes! OMG!"
Again, she yells, "BAG! MENG!"
In the end, we settle at Royal Sporting House. The melting pot for all sports brand. I have to admit, I was rather fussy but in my defense, it was all horribly ugly. Or too...Beng-ish, "Wow, look at this," I say as I picked it up, "Nice huh? I love the colour."
Her eyes popped out in amazement as well, "Woah, it is nice, the colours are beautiful!"
I couldn't believe it myself, it was sensationally perfect. The colour, the way it looked on me everything, "Excuse me," I called out to one of the sales girl, "Can I get a new one?"
She smiles at me, "Of course," as she pick it off my hands and disappeared into the store-room. She came back minutes later with a new one, "All good?" she asks.
"Brilliant lah, I'll take it!"
At the counter, the cashier asked me, "Are you Malaysian?"
Do I not look like one? My hair's black, my eyes blacker than night, heck, I just ended a sentenced with a 'lah', "Umm, yeah, I am."
"Oh, you're entitled for a 15% discount," she explains, "All you need to do is SMS this and this," she picks up a card with the eVoucher details written on it," And then send it to this number. You will then receive a number which I will key-in so you'll get your discount."
"Woah, cool..." still holding that card.
As I unleashed my phone to send that SMS, she noticed Drey was eyeing for a pair of slippers, "Why not you get the slippers too?" the cashier asks, "With that, you'll get even more discount!" she justifies.
So I got a pair of slippers for Drey as well. As her birthday present, "Umm, this is Brazil colours right?" she asks the cashier.
"Yes, it is." the cashier replied.
So here you go, a look at my brand new bag!
What do you think?
And yeah, I've emptied it before. Just like people with dandruff issues, it just keeps coming back, unrelentingly.
So on a gloomy, wet Monday morning, I asked if she would like to join me on a quick shopping spree, "Hey, wanna go to Queensbay Mall or BJ for lunch?" I disguised my intention.
She replied, "Umm, sure, let's go Queensbay Mall," in which I agreed. BJ is kinda like the Mecca for Ah Beng apparels and accessories anyway. If it ain't for the Ah Bengs, then it's for the Ah Lians.
We arrive at Queensbay Mall (QBM) and proceeded to park the car downstairs, by now I've told her that I've tricked her into this by disguising it as a lunch outing, "Shall we eat first or go look for your bag first?" she ask.
Knowing how lunch makes people sluggish and sleepy, I replied, "Let's shop first."
The basement level is our starting point, we proceeded to the first shop in-sight, which was Adidas, after making a remark, "This is the weirdest looking McDonald's ever!" Well, it was. It's too fancy to be McDonald's. Fancy tables, fancy everything.
And I must say, the array of - or lack there of - bags in Adidas was terribly boring. There were only like 5 bags. Out of 5, only 2 were normal sling bags. And both were identical, one black one blue, "Ewww, no velcro! Don't want."
Next shop: Nike. "Ooo, look, Man Utd jersey! Wahhhhh *drools* I don't have this one yet."
"BAG MENG, BAG!" she nags.
"Right, bags, bags..." and I found none that appealed to me. Yet again, no variety. Ugly selections.
My attention quickly veered onto the shelves, "Ooo shoes! Look shoes!! So pretty...woah! Gold swish!"
"MENG! BAG!"
Then in a what-were-we-thinking moment, we went to the east-side of the mall, where all the hip and trendy stuff were located. Stuff like Radioactive and Tropicana, "Man, this is all to college-y lah," she squirms with disgust.
"Yeah, back in college I'd do anything to wear those!" says I, "Man, we're getting old."
"Don't you own like 2 Radioactive Ts?"
"Sha'up."
Even so, we walked in to each and every shop just to satisfy our curiosity and to see what kids are up to these days, in terms of attire, "Should we just buy our lunch and eat it at the office," she speaks to her wristwatch as if she's a mental patient.
I hated the idea. Ever since watching An Inconvenient Truth, I've minimize my take-away to a minimal, we do not need to pollute the world with more packaging, "Nah, we just chuck everything down and run to the car," then I realize we work in Advertising, where we print beautiful stuff for people to throw away.
"Yer, this is like what they wear during those Gay Nites at MOMO," her eyes gazed onto the shelves on the far-end of the Radioactive shop, towards a set of trousers.
"Does this bag look good on me?" I tried on one of the bags, the coolest one in the bunch, "Doesn't huh? I can't quite pull it off," I placed the bag back at the top of the shelve. The bag has some sort of pixel art on the front panel, on a beige base.
We passed yet another Adidas shop, the Adidas Classics, "Look! Shoes! OMG!"
Again, she yells, "BAG! MENG!"
In the end, we settle at Royal Sporting House. The melting pot for all sports brand. I have to admit, I was rather fussy but in my defense, it was all horribly ugly. Or too...Beng-ish, "Wow, look at this," I say as I picked it up, "Nice huh? I love the colour."
Her eyes popped out in amazement as well, "Woah, it is nice, the colours are beautiful!"
I couldn't believe it myself, it was sensationally perfect. The colour, the way it looked on me everything, "Excuse me," I called out to one of the sales girl, "Can I get a new one?"
She smiles at me, "Of course," as she pick it off my hands and disappeared into the store-room. She came back minutes later with a new one, "All good?" she asks.
"Brilliant lah, I'll take it!"
At the counter, the cashier asked me, "Are you Malaysian?"
Do I not look like one? My hair's black, my eyes blacker than night, heck, I just ended a sentenced with a 'lah', "Umm, yeah, I am."
"Oh, you're entitled for a 15% discount," she explains, "All you need to do is SMS this and this," she picks up a card with the eVoucher details written on it," And then send it to this number. You will then receive a number which I will key-in so you'll get your discount."
"Woah, cool..." still holding that card.
As I unleashed my phone to send that SMS, she noticed Drey was eyeing for a pair of slippers, "Why not you get the slippers too?" the cashier asks, "With that, you'll get even more discount!" she justifies.
So I got a pair of slippers for Drey as well. As her birthday present, "Umm, this is Brazil colours right?" she asks the cashier.
"Yes, it is." the cashier replied.
So here you go, a look at my brand new bag!
What do you think?
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Pillows and a Car Chase
I'm having a blistering post-KL trip headache. Lack of proper sleep would be the main cause. Lack of an additional pillow played a huge role in the lack of sleep department. I grew up hugging something to sleep. I thought I'm old enough to finally take-on sleep with just ONE pillow.
Boy, was I painfully wrong.
Being the creative bloke that I am (or like to assume), I manipulated the comforter, folded it in such a way to form a makeshift bolster. It was terribly edgy. My mind is having none of it, I need a real pillow if not a bolster. To add insult to injury, the boss beat me to it. Why can't hotels place TWO extra pillows? Bastards.
---------------
On the drive back to Penang, we were somewhere in the middle of Ipoh, after having taking a nap I woke up and said to the boss, who's busy chasing down this Isuzu 3.0 Pickup which overtook his Hilux effortlessly, chanting, "Bastard, bastard, bastard," every single kilometer of the way as the Isuzu comfortably pulled further and further away. Eventually he conceded defeat.
We arrive at the mid-way point toll, "Dude, do you think Malaysia is the only country in the world that pays tolls?" I ask.
He zaps his Touch 'n Go card and floored the pedal, somehow I think he is still keen on chasing that bloody Thai-plat Isuzu, "I think we're the only country in the world that have so much tolls," he mutters out, "In New Zealand, you have tolls as well, but it's a rare sight."
And for some peculiar reason, the conversation veered into his ex-girlfriend in New Zealand, "Aaah, KT, oh KT," says he as he romanticize about the past which was subsequently followed by a sudden descend into depression, "Great, thanks for reminding me about this lah, just great. Now I can't thinking about it."
"Hello, I ask you about tolls and you went back all the way to New Zealand. How is that my fault?"
"I don't think we can catch that Isuzu anymore."
"I need a smoke."
Boy, was I painfully wrong.
Being the creative bloke that I am (or like to assume), I manipulated the comforter, folded it in such a way to form a makeshift bolster. It was terribly edgy. My mind is having none of it, I need a real pillow if not a bolster. To add insult to injury, the boss beat me to it. Why can't hotels place TWO extra pillows? Bastards.
---------------
On the drive back to Penang, we were somewhere in the middle of Ipoh, after having taking a nap I woke up and said to the boss, who's busy chasing down this Isuzu 3.0 Pickup which overtook his Hilux effortlessly, chanting, "Bastard, bastard, bastard," every single kilometer of the way as the Isuzu comfortably pulled further and further away. Eventually he conceded defeat.
We arrive at the mid-way point toll, "Dude, do you think Malaysia is the only country in the world that pays tolls?" I ask.
He zaps his Touch 'n Go card and floored the pedal, somehow I think he is still keen on chasing that bloody Thai-plat Isuzu, "I think we're the only country in the world that have so much tolls," he mutters out, "In New Zealand, you have tolls as well, but it's a rare sight."
And for some peculiar reason, the conversation veered into his ex-girlfriend in New Zealand, "Aaah, KT, oh KT," says he as he romanticize about the past
"Hello, I ask you about tolls and you went back all the way to New Zealand. How is that my fault?"
"I don't think we can catch that Isuzu anymore."
"I need a smoke."
Friday, 7 September 2007
Wednesday, 5 September 2007
And It Was All Yellow
I actually bought the Malaysian Football Team jersey.
How's that for Merdeka Spirit?
Though fake, but come on. It looks as good as the original. But I don't care, I wear that jersey with great pride, as they did win the Merdeka Cup recently wearing the blue away strip. Unlike their senior counterparts, which they got trashed, and again, then again. In yellow.
Despite buying a size too big, shame, it makes me look like a 16-year old trying too hard to look cool.
The blue does make the logo look really, really horrible I must say. Like as if I got spit on by the FAM on the chest. And what's up with Malaysia and their strange obsession with yellow? Especially in sports. Isn't blue and red the more prominent colours on our beloved flag? Because as far as I know, the Harimau (Tiger, in Malay) isn't the most social of cats. Come on, they're solitary animals and only socialize -- well, not literally -- when they are horny and in need of some pussy (ooo, well said, pats self on the back).
No wonder we suck at team sports.
How's that for Merdeka Spirit?
Though fake, but come on. It looks as good as the original. But I don't care, I wear that jersey with great pride, as they did win the Merdeka Cup recently wearing the blue away strip. Unlike their senior counterparts, which they got trashed, and again, then again. In yellow.
Despite buying a size too big, shame, it makes me look like a 16-year old trying too hard to look cool.
The blue does make the logo look really, really horrible I must say. Like as if I got spit on by the FAM on the chest. And what's up with Malaysia and their strange obsession with yellow? Especially in sports. Isn't blue and red the more prominent colours on our beloved flag? Because as far as I know, the Harimau (Tiger, in Malay) isn't the most social of cats. Come on, they're solitary animals and only socialize -- well, not literally -- when they are horny and in need of some pussy (ooo, well said, pats self on the back).
No wonder we suck at team sports.
Tuesday, 4 September 2007
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