2006: Closure

Because the internet took a massive slow-turn, due to the Taiwan Quake.
Because it’s such a bloody bitch to log in to Blogger.
Because I have a big presentation on the 4th.
Because we have to organize a last minute New Year party crew.
Because we still – technically – have no idea what to do.


That’s why, I haven’t been updating much.

OK, we do in fact know where we’re going. It’s SIGIs at Batu Ferringhi. Yeah, why you ask? Well, the jam to town is just not worth it anymore. Roby is doing his thing at RM100 per person for the 5litre bottle, we say; “Fuck that,” and look to Vendass -- our trusty alcohol supplier -- “How much for a carton of beer?”

“Tiger?” he asks, “Or Carlsberg?”

Together in perfect sync, we say, “Tiger!”

He looks into space, “RM80,” he says.

Cool. Settled then. Derek is offering his whiskey; I say we call it a Plan B, since none of us wanna get plastered. But it’s for good measure, of course. So we’ll tuck it under the seat. Cause there’s no such thing as too much alcohol, only too little. So I decided to throw in my magic will-get-me-laid bottle of JINRO. The ladies love it.

“I’ll pack in some herbs too,” I declare, “That will be our Plan C.”

“Our Plan C?” he asks.

“Sorry, I mean MY Plan C,” I correct myself.

So there you go. If you’re bored, broke and up for some fun. You know where to find us.



Happy New Year and drive safely.
See you soon.

Bad Photo

Here's a look at one angry Graphic Designer. But frankly, we were just tired having JUST arrived.

One More, One More! Argh!

Maybe I stretch too much.
Maybe it’s some sort of diet I’m on. (Who am I kidding?)
Perhaps I jump a lot? (Heck, I don’t do that)

But whatever it is
I gained another centimeter.

Yes.

1 flippin' cm!

That brings the tally to 189cm
One more to go, one more.
Then I’ll hit the 190cm mark.

But frankly.
For the first time…ever,
I’m actually frightened.
I mean, who grows taller at 23?
NORMAL people stop about 18-21.

And just went I was happy and content with 188cm
It shoots up another notch. (Yes, I measured up barefoot)

And what’s up with places like Torch and 68 Brazil?

Damn tallist I tell you.

Their toilet doors are only 6’ tall.
WTF? Banging my head against the frame isn’t funny ok? No it’s not. OK, maybe the first 3 times, after that its just abso-fucking-lutely annoying.

Flammable

I was at a club once,
It was packed, shoulder-to-shoulder.
So I decided to stand at the fire-exit.
Where it’s less crowded, to scope the scene.

This bouncer came up to me and said,
“Move! You’re blocking the fire-exit!”

…



As if there was a fire…
I wasn’t gonna run.

(Ian, shaddup)

Improvised

The only person in our house who put in the effort to put up and decorate a Christmas tree is my sister. Strange thing is that she doesn't even live here anymore. So...

Tah-dah

A tree, fully decked out, albeit the missing flashy/blinking lights.



Now I'm curious...why is Elmo deputizing the big Star? Mhmmm...

Bee Em Double Leu

We were at Sim’s. Prepping up the night’s agenda. Tuck has also stop making orgasmic sounds seating on Sim’s sensational new massage chair. We head out to meet him – Sina – who had just arrive and is parked outside.

“Wait for us, we’re coming out now,” says Sim as he heads back into his room looking for me.

“Sorry man, forgot my trusty little compass,” I justified my unhurried conduct.

We headed out and I resumed by new-found feng-shui knowledge to Sim about why he should have a water-feature flowing water from North into the front door. Not literally lah.

What struck me was when I saw him, still seated inside his car listening to Broken Social Scene, was that he was driving this white Wira, which he’s brother owns. I took my place at the back seat, “It’s been a long time lah,” I clarify my motive, “I’m so sick of the front seat.” as I head to the back seat.

“Dude!” I exclaimed, “I never thought I live the day to see Pedram allowing you to drive his car!”

“It’s not his car anymore dude,” he feels the steering, “He drives a Beemer now.”

A what?! Damn. That’s one massive upgrade, “Wow, that’s fantastic. Good for him.”

Sina shifts the gear into D and we’re now headed to 7-Eleven, “Yeah, he’s a much happier person these days, less tantrums, not stressed-out and all. Hell, I can even have long decent conversations with him nowadays. I’m so happy for him.”

Of course lah he’s happy. Who wouldn’t be less bitter, cheerier and satisfied when you’re driving a BMW. Come on lah, it’s a Beemer wei. With the prospect (based on statistics) that BMW drivers get about 2.2 sex per week. What’s there to be bitter about, really.

Bison

For the past 3 days,
I’ve been rolling up my own cigarettes in the office.

What strikes me is that
no one has stop and gawk at this unusual routine.

I’m beginning to think -- what if I roll up something else.



Would they realize?

Unrelenting

Phone rings…

“Hello?”
“Hello Thanga?”
“Thang who?”
“Ini Thangarajan ah?????”
“Bukan, wrong number…”
“Wrong number ar? Ini bukan 01X-XXXX XXXX??”
“Hello! Kira tengok berapa nombor you dial!”
“XXXX XXXX lah”
“Handphone 7 nombor only lah!”
“Tapi namecard dia ada 8 nombor..”
“So?!”
“Tapi…”

Hangs up.

Damn fucking stubborn man I tell you. (And dumb)

Bukit Boring

Well…
Sad to say, our first ever company outing was quite disastrous. Location-wise that is. A word of caution to ya’ll out there. Under no circumstances or reason (or excuse) should you ever, ever (or even think of) considering Bukit Merah as a potential holiday destination. Especially during school holidays!

The theme park is ridiculous and borderline toxic if you should find yourself in the waters for whatever reason. The park spots an eerie resemblance to pre-school, hell, even pre-schools aren’t so horribly coloured.

Of course, the people there has no sense of business. The paint-ball dude never got back to us. Even at one point decided to shut his phone off completely. It wasn’t a great setting anyway so we let it slide. Besides, having only 50 bullets ain’t much fun. Heck my room is even bigger than the terrain.

Ecstasy pill poppers or LSD addicts might find themselves feeling very at-home here. The management has some strange obsession with the over-the-top-and-extremely-tacky feng-tau pounding music. As if the food (oh the food, nooooo) aren’t bad enough, they pound your ears with ‘em pill popping noise and except you to swallow that bowl of god-knows what, whereby they have a pretty pathetic and a strange no-re-fund policy if you over buy your meal coupons. WTF is that all about? Nothing in the food court is edible.

And yes, it rained 80% of the time.

On the brighter side, the night cruise was oddly amusing. Though I don’t see the point in having a tour guide stuttering to us about what is what in the dark, it wasn’t all that bad. The water was calm; the air was cool. And who would have thought our cruise ride had a night safari tour included! Another – mostly pointless – tour in the dark. Don’t they get it? We humans have lousy sight at night. Some cages were lit. Including the crocodiles’. Which basically was the highlight of the entire trip.

Yes, we get to watch them feed ‘em crocs live chickens! Gah! It was disgusting…and cruel to some extent. Hell, you would think they snap up the chickens and swallow them up instantly. Hell no, they snap, then they pause. One loooooong pause. With chicken still firmly clam down in their jaws. Blood oozing, dripping to the ground, chicken spasm. Yucks. And finally after 20 minutes, “I think I’ll swallow now,” and voula.

That fucker even farted after eating. They do that?

All in all, the bottle of Absolut and copious amount of Carlsberg made the trip less appalling. Let’s just say I won’t be expecting any of my colleagues or bosses to play the Wheel of Fortune, Bluff, Pyramid and Names drinking game with me anytime soon. Yes, I made all of them puke. Even myself. But I consider myself the survivor having puke only once! Heh.



That was fun. The trip was nice, but the location was terrible.
So remember, say Tak Nak to Bukit Merah! Buck up lah! Visit Malaysia 2007 coming up!

I Want To Be A Film-maker

Sometimes I wonder when will I ever get to make that first feature length film I’ve always dream about. Not that I’ve already written the script and screenplay, but I just have some rough ideas that has been floating about. Maybe I just need an angle.

Let’s face it. My life is boring. Boo hoo. That’s out. OK, moving on. I need something with more substance. Then I thought, well maybe I could use the stories of people I’ve met, family, friends, etc and make up an entirely fictional story…based on true ones. Come on, nothing beats real human stories. And I’ve heard, seen and experience some weird ones.

Then the day job I have. Will I ever get my breakthrough and then progress? That’s one to ponder on.

Of course, the finance I’ll need to fund the production…hmmm, where, where , where?

All I know is, I wanna have a storyline with compelling human stories. The break it into pieces and sequence it in a random fashion…but of course it’s not entirely random, it’s carefully re-organized to add suspense. Kinda like the college video project we did. I showed bits and pieces of the ending first. But 6 minutes of footage isn’t enough to do the whole -- re-sequence the story -- thing.

Oh well -- I’m done with this meaningless entry.

Futsal! Wooo…

Till We Meet Again

Frankly, I’ve never felt so sad to see any relatives leave.
I guess this one is an exception. They were fantastic throughout.

Taxing at times. But all worth it. Definitely.

And who would have thought there were furniture shops that open till way pass midnight in Penang.

My parents thought she was a tad long-winded, I thought it was only border-line. Hell, after all, we last met 11 years ago. Of course there’s plenty to talk about. Heh. It's amazing how 2 weeks can bridge back the 11 years being apart. At least we're no longer strangers and that's lovely.

Hope we’ll see you guys again soon. In Melbourne, maybe? Heh. Then you guys will help me hook-up with some blonds, eh? :)

Take care.

Beautiful Day

This is how anal my dad can get when it comes to time. When he says meet him at 8.30am, that means 8.30am. Heck, I was only 3 minutes late. Still, I got his usual "Why are you late?" treatment. He restarted his journey and off to Parkroyal we go.

Sim taking a nap. Apparently having 5-6 hours worth of sleep isn't enough. OK, I agree with him. The mandatory 8-hour is a must. But hey, we're going on a day-long vacation. Relek ler brather!

That's my cousin in the center. They were on time. Daddy likes that. So they get free breakfast! Tuck, Diana and Annie still no where to be seen. "Meng, you and your friends are alike! Never punctual!"

Gee, tell me something new dad. I was frantically calling them. Rushing them. Especially Annie, she's still far behind. But arrived at the knick of time. *Phew* Off we go.

Tuck, Diana and Sim soaking up the sun. Getting wet along the way. They don't mind that.

Look at that man. Shining gila.

By wearing this mask, we established that Diana had more guts than Tuck. Cos she wore 'em masks too and was eager to dive in. Tuck settled for fishing. Using the excuse that we had to fish our lunch.

We all know that isn't true.

Sadly, the water isn't as clear as it should be. So you can Imagine the thrill of not getting stung by those huge jellyfishes we saw. Crinkey! They were the size of 2 basketballs each. You won't want that nasty thing near you.

After seeing enough jellyfishes, I chicken out with the rest and settled for fishing. Me and Annie form a formidable team of Champions.

We failed to catch anything.

Nostalgia man. I use to come here often 10 years ago.

The 3 losers who couldn't catch anything.

This pic made her look like some Goddess. But not a fishing goddess. She suck at it (heh)

My cousin's secret code, "Meng, let's take a walk."

That means it's my cue to have a smoke. They just tag along for free smokes.

"What siput? Where got?"

Dudes, they are hidden in sand lah. You gotta dig 'em.

Of course, nothing beats good old "slightly modernize" Gurney Drive hawker centre to finish off such a lovely day. My god, she went on a rampage and ordered almost everything. I mean everything. Hell, I had 3 glasses of orange juice to wash all that down. And struggled to walk.

We should so do that again.
And I should re-write this entry.

Laters.