A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way.
This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
Thursday, 27 December 2007
Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Sloshed
I'm on my last day of my 6-day break. And I have been drunk for all 5 days. Today I just cannot tahan anymore. I couldn't possibly drink another mug of beer (or another shot of tequila and so on) and not risk a major health crisis. The thought of taking a sick-leave put a little smile on my face. But hey, I would rather see-off the year proper.
Yesterday, at the peak of this insatiable drinking spree, we were at 68 to celebrate Christmas with Vig, Dasha, Adil (even Mark Ng showed up, the little pink piggy as Annie likes to call him) and our special guest artist all the way from Canada, Aiden. The 3 of them (Dash, Adil and Aiden) performed on this special night. I’ve been to 68 a few times and it’s often quite vacant. But of course, it’s Christmas! So it was a full-house. With Aiden on keyboards, Adil flowing the rhythm on his famous saxophone and of course Dasha blowing everyone away with her amazing vocals, it was a recipe for a good set.
While these talented bunch enchanted the nonchalant crowd, the slightly more UN-talented bunch, mainly me, Vig and Mark (and also Vig’s buddy, Kenneth) were having shots after shots of tequila. In which of course, was followed by squirming our faces and pound the ground with our feet, “Wah, bleeeurghh, damn nasty lah.” I would say. In fact, I think the only one who actually enjoyed the tequila was Mark. Since it was his idea to begin with. Aiden hated it the most running, hiding and going all 10-year old throwing tantrums, yet he drank the most. Strange.
Because of the salt, drinking tequila, “It’s almost like drinking bucket loads of sea water while drowning,” I totally agree on that. But hey, it gets the job done albeit a little nasty on the taste buds.
We moved on to Bagan later that evening and finished the job there with more beer. And also an air-ticket right at the end to justify the night. Oh you know what I mean. Yeah, that hit the spot for me and now, I’m my room feeling hot, cold, sweaty, lethargic and dry altogether. Oh man, I can’t wait to feel…sober again. Seriously.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Yesterday, at the peak of this insatiable drinking spree, we were at 68 to celebrate Christmas with Vig, Dasha, Adil (even Mark Ng showed up, the little pink piggy as Annie likes to call him) and our special guest artist all the way from Canada, Aiden. The 3 of them (Dash, Adil and Aiden) performed on this special night. I’ve been to 68 a few times and it’s often quite vacant. But of course, it’s Christmas! So it was a full-house. With Aiden on keyboards, Adil flowing the rhythm on his famous saxophone and of course Dasha blowing everyone away with her amazing vocals, it was a recipe for a good set.
While these talented bunch enchanted the nonchalant crowd, the slightly more UN-talented bunch, mainly me, Vig and Mark (and also Vig’s buddy, Kenneth) were having shots after shots of tequila. In which of course, was followed by squirming our faces and pound the ground with our feet, “Wah, bleeeurghh, damn nasty lah.” I would say. In fact, I think the only one who actually enjoyed the tequila was Mark. Since it was his idea to begin with. Aiden hated it the most running, hiding and going all 10-year old throwing tantrums, yet he drank the most. Strange.
Because of the salt, drinking tequila, “It’s almost like drinking bucket loads of sea water while drowning,” I totally agree on that. But hey, it gets the job done albeit a little nasty on the taste buds.
We moved on to Bagan later that evening and finished the job there with more beer. And also an air-ticket right at the end to justify the night. Oh you know what I mean. Yeah, that hit the spot for me and now, I’m my room feeling hot, cold, sweaty, lethargic and dry altogether. Oh man, I can’t wait to feel…sober again. Seriously.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Friday, 14 December 2007
What Do You Mean That's The Biggest Size?
Last month or so, I developed a rather scary and an annoying new taste in my fashion sense. Since I bought my jacket – which was supposed to be a bag – I’ve been scouring the country for a bag, which doesn’t have the brand name screaming on the front flap. Because frankly, that is just so bloody tacky and so 1990. I like my bag to be discreetly branded. Like this Adidas bag I’ve been carrying around for 2 1/2 years. There’s only one small teeny, weeny logo at the side, dark green on black. Tastefully hidden away.
So I’ve been looking and looking. So much that my shoe is starting to buka mulut. My year old Puma is desperately trying to yawn. No way am I letting that happen. Now I need to buy a pair of shoe also. Because the yawn is imminent and that this pair is my only pair, which means I play futsal, go to work, jog (well, not very frequent, but I still do!) and well, anything that requires me to wear shoes with it.
Thus, the change of plan. Now shoes are top priority. Close call lah as my bag is close to kicking the bucket too.
So…back to my annoyingly new and scary taste in fashion.
I was in KL visiting my Sis along with my folks. Of course, shopping was in the cards. In fact, shopping is the only thing we did the whole time there.
I came across this pair of Pumas. White base and nothing else but a Puma swish thingy on the side in gold. It was love at first sight, “Do you have size 11?” I asked the shopkeeper.
He gave me a perplexing stare, “Umm, sir, this is umm, for the ladies,”
DAMMIT! “Shit, haha, my bad…” Oh man, this is horrible, trying desperately to act all macho, “What about this one?”
“Umm, the guy’s section is this way, sir,”
WHAT. THE. HELL. “Oh!” of course, my mom and sis couldn’t stop laughing. In fact, I couldn’t stop laughing too, “Wow, the guys section are horrible…so ugly lah, bloody tacky…nothing..umm, simple? Like this one?” I slowly slide back into the other section, “I mean, how can this be only for the ladies? It’s so…unisex…”
Bah! Screw them. I left empty handed, ego severely dented.
However, my temporary and sudden soft spot for ladies sports wear wore off a few weeks later when I came down for an event at Flamingo, Ampang. We stopped by Sg. Buloh Over-head Bridge for Burger King before we dropped by a sport’s store. Being tall naturally comes coupled with big feet. I’m a size 11. I could squeeze in a 10 without socks and walk as if I just got ass-raped, so 11 is minimum, if not 10 1/2. And being a Malaysian staying in Malaysia where the average height is about 170cm, it doesn’t help make shoe-shopping any easier if you’re way above the 180cm mark.
I chose this neat looking Puma, it was beige with a dark grey stripe, “Umm, size 11 ada?”
“Oh, ini last, size 9 only,”
Oh for the love of god, “Har?” then I started jamming my big foot into this tiny size 9, “AHHHHHHHHH!!!! SAKITTTT!!! AHHHHH!!!”
“Wah, nak try juga?”
OK, no way I could force it in, “Sedih lah, memang cantik lah,” and for the record, it’s the MEN’s, “kalau aku pi outlet kat Penang ada ah?”
“Ini model dah lama, mungkin dah habis juga,” and he was right. I went to Queensbay the following week (which was 3 days ago) and on the dot, it was sold out. Every other shoe I intend to buy has size 10. Oh god, help me…
So I’ve been looking and looking. So much that my shoe is starting to buka mulut. My year old Puma is desperately trying to yawn. No way am I letting that happen. Now I need to buy a pair of shoe also. Because the yawn is imminent and that this pair is my only pair, which means I play futsal, go to work, jog (well, not very frequent, but I still do!) and well, anything that requires me to wear shoes with it.
Thus, the change of plan. Now shoes are top priority. Close call lah as my bag is close to kicking the bucket too.
So…back to my annoyingly new and scary taste in fashion.
I was in KL visiting my Sis along with my folks. Of course, shopping was in the cards. In fact, shopping is the only thing we did the whole time there.
I came across this pair of Pumas. White base and nothing else but a Puma swish thingy on the side in gold. It was love at first sight, “Do you have size 11?” I asked the shopkeeper.
He gave me a perplexing stare, “Umm, sir, this is umm, for the ladies,”
DAMMIT! “Shit, haha, my bad…” Oh man, this is horrible, trying desperately to act all macho, “What about this one?”
“Umm, the guy’s section is this way, sir,”
WHAT. THE. HELL. “Oh!” of course, my mom and sis couldn’t stop laughing. In fact, I couldn’t stop laughing too, “Wow, the guys section are horrible…so ugly lah, bloody tacky…nothing..umm, simple? Like this one?” I slowly slide back into the other section, “I mean, how can this be only for the ladies? It’s so…unisex…”
Bah! Screw them. I left empty handed, ego severely dented.
However, my temporary and sudden soft spot for ladies sports wear wore off a few weeks later when I came down for an event at Flamingo, Ampang. We stopped by Sg. Buloh Over-head Bridge for Burger King before we dropped by a sport’s store. Being tall naturally comes coupled with big feet. I’m a size 11. I could squeeze in a 10 without socks and walk as if I just got ass-raped, so 11 is minimum, if not 10 1/2. And being a Malaysian staying in Malaysia where the average height is about 170cm, it doesn’t help make shoe-shopping any easier if you’re way above the 180cm mark.
I chose this neat looking Puma, it was beige with a dark grey stripe, “Umm, size 11 ada?”
“Oh, ini last, size 9 only,”
Oh for the love of god, “Har?” then I started jamming my big foot into this tiny size 9, “AHHHHHHHHH!!!! SAKITTTT!!! AHHHHH!!!”
“Wah, nak try juga?”
OK, no way I could force it in, “Sedih lah, memang cantik lah,” and for the record, it’s the MEN’s, “kalau aku pi outlet kat Penang ada ah?”
“Ini model dah lama, mungkin dah habis juga,” and he was right. I went to Queensbay the following week (which was 3 days ago) and on the dot, it was sold out. Every other shoe I intend to buy has size 10. Oh god, help me…
Wednesday, 12 December 2007
Punched
Yuuu huuu, I'm back.
Hang on, let me grab a quick smoke. BRB.
Alright I'm back. So what have I been doing of late? Well, I was in KL from Thursday till Saturday to attend an event hosted by one of our client in KL. Some annual dinner thingy. We left early Thursday morning (that means we left just before noon) and arrive at Sungai Buloh in just 3 hours. Yes, we had Burger King. It' a must for any Penangite visiting KL. Doesn't matter if its work or play. Must have!
Work aside, Kee's friend took us (in his shiny 5-series) to a reflexology joint somewhere in Bukit Bintang. To be honest, I was really trying to get out of it. The place scared the shit out of me. Dodgy looking lift, barely able to cramp 3 adults, a short walk in the narrowest hallway ever and entering a dingy room where the 'magic' happens. Apart from the 3 of us, the room was empty. I took my sit and the masseurs entered the room. 3 of them, 2 blokes 1 girl. All Thai nationals.
And when the girl brought a bucket - where its suppose to clean my feet - I thought, oh well, can't be THAT bad, right? A girl massaging my feet.
Oh man was I painfully, painfully wrong. She brutalize my feet. I'm new to this gig so I don't really know what's the procedure. She started punching my left feet from all angles. Punchpunchpunchpunch.
I looked at Kee, who was next to me, "Hey ummm," I look at her and look back at him, "Is this normal?"
Well, apparently it is. It's meant to loosen up the muscles. Soon, the whole room was filled with people. 10 minutes in, it wasn't as bad as I thought. No pain at all. Then she started on me toes. The biggy toe.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" yeah, I screamed a little bit.
She looked up, "Sakit yar?"
DUH! Didn't I just scream? "Ya, sikit. Pelan pelan yar..."
I swear, she did not yield to me desperate cry to go easy on me.
After a few more screams, JM called me as I told him to come pick me up at this joint. Assuming it would be over and done with by the time he arrives from Puchong. Sadly, she wasn't quite done with my left feet just yet, "Dude, umm, I'm still ARGHHH!!! kinda, AHHHHH!!!!, not done with this, AHHHHHHH!!! reflexology thing, OH FUCKING HELL!!!!, where are OHHH MAMA!!!! you now?"
"I'm near Bukit Bintang dude, so how?"
Crap. "Cik, boleh ahhhh!!!! cepat sikit ah? Kawan nak sampai dah,"
She seemed like she had no idea what I just said, so her colleague shouted from the other end of the room, the exact same thing I said. This time, she understood. And boy did she give me the nastiest look. Well, at least that's what I thought it was. For some reason, when she moved on to my right feet, she seemed to punch much harder. Like MUCH harder...
Swear to god I'm NEVER going for a reflexology ever again.
I'm quite surprise I could still walk after the ordeal. In fact, I ran.
I've got so much to write about so little time. Anyway, here's a look of what I have been doing. Took me a day to do it.
Hang on, let me grab a quick smoke. BRB.
Alright I'm back. So what have I been doing of late? Well, I was in KL from Thursday till Saturday to attend an event hosted by one of our client in KL. Some annual dinner thingy. We left early Thursday morning (that means we left just before noon) and arrive at Sungai Buloh in just 3 hours. Yes, we had Burger King. It' a must for any Penangite visiting KL. Doesn't matter if its work or play. Must have!
Work aside, Kee's friend took us (in his shiny 5-series) to a reflexology joint somewhere in Bukit Bintang. To be honest, I was really trying to get out of it. The place scared the shit out of me. Dodgy looking lift, barely able to cramp 3 adults, a short walk in the narrowest hallway ever and entering a dingy room where the 'magic' happens. Apart from the 3 of us, the room was empty. I took my sit and the masseurs entered the room. 3 of them, 2 blokes 1 girl. All Thai nationals.
And when the girl brought a bucket - where its suppose to clean my feet - I thought, oh well, can't be THAT bad, right? A girl massaging my feet.
Oh man was I painfully, painfully wrong. She brutalize my feet. I'm new to this gig so I don't really know what's the procedure. She started punching my left feet from all angles. Punchpunchpunchpunch.
I looked at Kee, who was next to me, "Hey ummm," I look at her and look back at him, "Is this normal?"
Well, apparently it is. It's meant to loosen up the muscles. Soon, the whole room was filled with people. 10 minutes in, it wasn't as bad as I thought. No pain at all. Then she started on me toes. The biggy toe.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" yeah, I screamed a little bit.
She looked up, "Sakit yar?"
DUH! Didn't I just scream? "Ya, sikit. Pelan pelan yar..."
I swear, she did not yield to me desperate cry to go easy on me.
After a few more screams, JM called me as I told him to come pick me up at this joint. Assuming it would be over and done with by the time he arrives from Puchong. Sadly, she wasn't quite done with my left feet just yet, "Dude, umm, I'm still ARGHHH!!! kinda, AHHHHH!!!!, not done with this, AHHHHHHH!!! reflexology thing, OH FUCKING HELL!!!!, where are OHHH MAMA!!!! you now?"
"I'm near Bukit Bintang dude, so how?"
Crap. "Cik, boleh ahhhh!!!! cepat sikit ah? Kawan nak sampai dah,"
She seemed like she had no idea what I just said, so her colleague shouted from the other end of the room, the exact same thing I said. This time, she understood. And boy did she give me the nastiest look. Well, at least that's what I thought it was. For some reason, when she moved on to my right feet, she seemed to punch much harder. Like MUCH harder...
Swear to god I'm NEVER going for a reflexology ever again.
I'm quite surprise I could still walk after the ordeal. In fact, I ran.
I've got so much to write about so little time. Anyway, here's a look of what I have been doing. Took me a day to do it.
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