Backeth

There was a time, I just sat in front of the monitor, just scratching my head. Thinking, wander and ramble about what to write for this little thing I started. I would stare at it for hours sometime, wondering how to re-work the layout. What colour speak of me, what typeface suits me, what hue should the background be.

Then I forgot that I even had one. How could I forget that I had a blog.

Well, life happened. It has been more devastatingly overwhelming than I had ever anticipated. Painfully fun yet worryingly daunting.

I want to go back, I want to undo all this. I want it all to be just the way it was. It was better that way. It was comfortable, safe. But, I don’t want to. I can’t concede defeat because of a few hiccups here and there, because things are off the rails, half empty and purposeless.

-----

Updates! Our friend who got hitched 2 years ago and have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl (who just turn 2 by the way, so call him and wish her happy birthday, will ya?) is…





Wait for it….wait for it….





Expecting…

Yeap. Another addition to the Tans. Mr. Firing on all cylinders along with his gold medal, record breaking Olympic swim team has once again clinched it. Seems almost effortless at times.

“Oh. My. God!” was what I said when I first heard, “Are you serious?” I asked.

He said it was and she’s 4-months into it already. Wow.

I couldn’t be any happier for the pair. Let’s hope Sophia will have a baby bro to play with.



I took the liberty to immerse myself back into art.

Trashed

Don't think he was to happy when my team trashed his lol.

Snap Snap Snap

I was browsing thru my phone out of boredom and suddenly, it dawned on me. This is the new way to blog! Oh yeah! Here goes.

This is how Maango was formed during Raya (which also explains what the hell was I doing during the week-long holiday when all - well most of them anyway - made their way back to Penang and attend open houses and drink copious amount of alcohol) at Ikea!


Sheena tagged along with us 'cos she knew a friend who works in Ikea. We thought we could get a decent 15% employee discount with it. The amount we were buying, 15% is a huge discount. But somewhere along the line, we didn't go with it. It'll be unfair to get him to so much trouble if he actually got caught. As if his girl problem isn't enough. Oh yeah, she was also there with me. The one and only time we actually hung out the entire day. Of course, she was not in the frame and was at the Ladies'. That's another story for another time that may actually never come :P moving on.....


Yeah, one huge empty space with a crap load of boxes and packaging. We did manage to assemble 2 chairs before this picture was taken. This area is the 'studio'. Were the creative energy would flow. Or so we hope.


Pantry/kitchen. Yes, very pathetic. I have still damn proud of myself for suggesting we mix and match those coffee table legs. Am I brilliant or what?


The hall area which is our discussion area. Still a long way to go.


I gotta admit, if we haven't had any power tool (or Ian's electric power tool with us), it would've have taken a monumental effort. Like, yeah...monumental. God bless 'em power tools! zing!zing!zing!

But wait...we're not quite done yet...something's missing. Hmmm...Ah hah!


Yeah!!! A brand spanking new (and also beefed up to 4GB RAM!) 20" iMac! Oh yeah! Bring it on stupid-unrelenting-indecisive clients!


A little more zing!zing!zing anf voula! Not bad, huh. It is rather small, but its only 4 of us. No complaints here.

It has been 3-weeks since all that and we're now fully up and running. I just hope the clients would just keep piling in. Gosh, never thought I'd say that so soon in life.

---

This is pre-Maango. Because work was actually pilling in even before the office was setup. We had no office so we ended working at Ian's albeit all the bloody way to Puchong.


What? Oh, did I not mention Ian found his Dad's old porno magazine stash? Yeah, so we kinda like...yeah, man, that was distracting.

---

Ben Syndrome. I've previously explained the symptoms on a previous entry. So, there was this scenario where Ben drove this white piece of scrap yard metal he calls a car back to Penang for mommy dearest to fix. 2-weeks it took, because there was that much to fix. So while the car was in Penang undergoing a major resurrection, he had a business to run. And him being the Sales guy, he needs to drive around. So Mike loaned him his car a lot during that 2-weeks spell, "Oh I hope he doesn't do anything stupid to it" Mike would tell me.

2-weeks passed and Mike found himself in Penang to help out his mom's project. So being the good business partner he is, he offered Ben to drive his car back for him. And so he did. So the next morning, we had breakfast in some nearby coffee shop. After breakfast they exchanged cars after bitching to me how it was such an ordeal to drive that car back with that mysterious stench coming from the air conditioning.

Knowing Ben and The Ben Syndrome, I told Mike as we were walking to his car, "I bet there's a coffee can tucked somewhere in your car," I tell him. Here's the thing about Ben Syndrome. Apart from all the terrible symptoms, he has this ghastly tendency to drink coffee while driving and tucking the empty cans between the door and the seat, and then completely forgets about it.

"AAHHH!!!" Mike screams.


Yeap, you guessed it.


Over and out :)

Blocked

Blogging these days feels like such a monumental chore. A far cry from how I was done so effortlessly 4 years ago. So I've been reduced to quick updates like this, heh.

Yes, we have setup our own advertising agency. It's called Maango and till this day we haven't really came out with a smart rationale why we chose to name the agency after a fruit. Not to mention the double A. But the decision was made whilst looking at 2 mango trees from the old office. Which only fruits when someone new joins the agency.

The house I live in does actually look and feel like a home. Thanks to a recent surge of what I call, "charity furniture" from Ah Neh and some of Ju's friends. Some contribution from Mom too.

See, it happened again, I don't feel like writing suddenly. And I just realized I missed by blog's 4th anniversary.

Oh blimey.

Aha

The new office is finally setup. And we have no internet! Aaaaaah!

Political Web and A Happy Cake

Elooo...I am back. Oh man, been so busy trying weave myself out of this massive tangled web of work politics. Thankfully, I can say the road to recovery is in motion. But it'll still take some time and maybe a few twists and turns.

Here's the dirt.
For the whole of 2008, as most of my matchas would know, I've been slaving from one agency to another. And I was dumbfounded when I discovered that both agencies I've worked have not contributed a single cent to my EPF account. Not even a digit despite deducting my salary. To me, I felt this has gotten personal. Sure, being overworked I'll whine, I can take it. But this is over the line. So filed 2 separate complaints at the KWSP office against both employers complete with all my pay-slips and what not.

Somehow I felt this wasn't enough when the officer at the desk was advising me with his droopy eyes and nonchalant dialogue, "It'll probably take like 2-months before these complaints gets processed. And if you're lucky to have a hard worker working on your case, it'll be resolved fast," what the hell? "If unlucky and you get a lazy bum, then it might take longer," what!? You mean you guys don't motivate or fire your immensely lazy people? This is not good.

So after talking to a friend, she advised that I shoot my complaints to as many departments as I could. So I went all out, I called and emailed; The Labour Department, The Bureau of Complaints (I didn't know there were such a thing) and I even went political by getting MCA and DAP involved. Of course, neither parties have any clue I got the other involved. We'll see which is more...efficient. Wish me luck.

Here are some interesting photos...


This I like to call The Super Cacat-Man. It reads "CAUTION: DISABLED RIDER!" on the back of the cart. However, that's the only thing cacat about him. He was riding in the excess of 110km/h on the LDP. Yeah, on the fast lane too. He even honked at a van and a new Honda Accord to give way. My kelisa could hardly keep up, but I had to, I needed to take a shot. Strange enough -- as you can see on the photo -- he actually gave me way. Hmmm...


Ah, this is happy butter. Looks like CRAP, tastes like CRAP. And yeah we were bored and we had the weekend to spare. So...what the heck.


Despite all of us being skeptical, the cake turned out well. Very moist and barely any incriminating smell. And it actually tastes like chocolate. Albeit a hint of a nasty aftertaste and no, those are not my hands.


Top it off with a ridiculously thick layer of chocolate frosting. And yes, happy butter was used too. Man, it tasted like crap though it did have a chocolate-y aftertaste. Very amusing...


To complete the Happy Space Cake, some heart-shaped sprinkles to add some colour and some agar-agar. Yes it was made with love, heh. Lots of it.

Half the cake was finished in less than 15-minutes when we arrived at Neh's, "What is it?" he asks.

"Smell and see!" we said.

The rapid ascent of his head caused his afro to bobble slightly, "You mean you guys baked a..."

"YES!"

We placed about 5-7 slices on a plate and a couple of forks. We stood there for a good 10-minutes, not knowing what to do with it. The Neh almost literally picked a fork and stuff himself silly with 'em cakes, "YOHR TURRM!" serving the plate at my direction.

K -- the new housemate at Neh's -- asks, "Which is more potent, cake or frosting?"

We contemplate a bit, "The frosting, cause it tastes like crap,"

Hence, he took a spoon and scoop a very generous serving of just frosting before his face started squirming, eyes squinting with disgust, "At least the last bit tastes like chocolate!"

You could imagine what happened after 30-minutes or so (yes tons of random laughters over silly little things). Ah, good times.

Day Off Not

It is days like this make me miss Penang even more. What day is it and why?

It’s this Nuzul Al-Quran day, in which most states are given the day off.

Except KL.

WTF man?!

Fishing Net

Supposedly -- I feel -- I am back in the market. The one product that sits on the shelves and collect dusts. Uninteresting it seems, maybe dated.

I never really understood what she said to me. Nor what her actions meant. For all one knows, it's time set sail and go back fishing. Gosh, should bought a net.

Listen to this

"Listen to this one: You open a company called the Arse Tickler's Faggots Fan Club. You take out an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, you sell it with, I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", "the latest and greatest in sexual technology", "guaranteed results or your money back", all that bollocks. Now these dils cost twenty-five quid a pop - as a snip for the amount of pleasure they're gonna give the recipients. But they send their cheques to the other company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five quid. You take that twenty-five quid, you stick it in the bank until it clears. 

Now this is the smart bit - you send back the cheque for twenty-five pound from the other company name, "Arse Tickler's Faggots Fan Club", saying we're sorry, we couldn't get the supplies from America because they ran out of stock. Now you see how many people cash that cheque - not a single soul, because who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse when they're not paying cheques?"

A quote from one of my all-time favourite movie; Lock, Stock & 2-Smoking Barrels. Never fails to make me laugh

Moved, again

I am typing this at our new office. In bloody KL! AAAHHH!!!

Why am I freaking out? I mean, I live in KL, right?

No I bloody don't! I live in the suburbs. At least I think it is. It's Damansara. And now I am in KL? WTF?! Like KLCC is just 10-bloody-steps away. The jam, the ridiculous crowd, the unrelenting honking the list goes on...

Never once it would have occurred to me that I would be moving so frequently when I move here. First was Damansara Perdana. Turns out to be a hell-hole, so I lari to SS2 to work with JM and co. And now the owners gave us a week's notice that operations would be relocated to KL, like Jalan Tun Razak type KL. What's next?!

Oh. My. Fucking. God. Ah!

And where da @#$% is my bloody paycheque?!

Worst day ever!

Ooo, at least it's bloody Friday. Can lepak and forget about all this for 2-days. Before it all comes back on Monday, sigh.

Cheerio.

I Met The Walrus

In 1969, a 14-year-old Beatle fanatic named Jerry Levitan, armed with a reel-to-reel tape deck, snuck into John Lennon's hotel room in Toronto and convinced John to do an interview about peace.

38 years later, Jerry has produced a film about it. Using the original interview recording as the soundtrack, director Josh Raskin has woven a visual narrative which tenderly romances Lennon's every word in a cascading flood of multipronged animation. Raskin marries the terrifyingly genius pen work of James Braithwaite with masterful digital illustration by Alex Kurina, resulting in a spell-binding vessel for Lennon's boundless wit, and timeless message.

Wha..?

Seriously, how could the photographer not realized this picture is, just, ummm, not right.


Whaa??

My Clients Should Read This

Click to enlarge.

If you...

...woke up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

0GB

It has been almost 2 years since I got it. And I never thought the day would come. Like never, ever, ever. But today the day came very unexpectedly, sudden and I was in no position to deal with it.

I looked over to the table beside me where JM sits, "Dude,"

"Yo?" he looks back with his uber-blur-what-am-I-doing-here-face.

I held up my iPod, "I have successfully used up all 30GB of space!"

"Woah," as he started caressing his iPod classic, "I've got 80GB baby!"

Show off, bloody hell. I had to delete a crap load of photos and some albums which I thought were good but turns out to be rubbish and never really bothered to delete it. That eased up 10GB of space. More than enough to load in 'Noah and the Whale' and the entire Beatles discography.

Now I got about 6GB of free. *phew* That was a scary situation.

The Little Voice

And now the blog is almost up and running. Check out The Little Voice (<--- click here). Superstar in the making :) Dash, remember to let me direct at least your first music video heh.

The Songstress

Dash, hope this will get you a record deal =)

Penned Out

It’s coming to an end. The last remaining point, amongst all the plenteous sets of points I’ve set for myself when I threw a flying kiss to my rear view mirror overlooking the island I was leaving behind.

Of course Mom had no idea what was I doing, “Meng what are you doing? Keep your hands on the wheel!” Until this day, I had no idea how mom manage to charm her way into following me to KL. But I am damn glad she did.

“I was just saying goodbye to Penang, mom…”

It has been 6-long-painful-yet-exhilirating month since I packed almost everything I had and make my way to the city. And now, for the first time ever – since paying my first toll upon entry to KL on a gloomy rainy Wednesday evening via Smart TAG – I feel that I can finally get on with the next part my life as an independent-I-will-never-call-mom-for-money adult.

I came here with a set of points. Those points are the things I need to do, to fulfill, to accomplish and to achieve whilst being in the city. I do not know how long I will stay here honestly, but I needed a plan. Thus I took months prior to my move to pen out all the things I would need to do. Down to the last alphabet.

And it all came tumbling down like how Ben knocks off my standing desktop calendar and brings everything down with it, like my small Absolut bottle, the origami bird, my hand lotion (hey! I got psoriasis okay! Spare me the social stigma!) and etc. In other words, everything I had planned and penned out has failed. Everything crushed, disintegrated, *Kah poosh!* into nothing more than just floating filth which strangely resembles to the air quality in the city.

So why the peculiar sense of enthusiasm? Denial perhaps? Heck no. I’m too old to emo about it nor am I going to let it bother me. In actual fact, I am pretty damn relieved it all botched up. Serious. I had already fallen. But hey…

…the best part about falling is that now I will be getting up...

and have a clean slate.

Oh it’s already looking better :)

That's the thing about people knowing anything about you...

... is that you have to work just to get people back to knowing nothing about you.

Slrrrp

In Malaysia, you get a butt load of really ghastly and atrocious ads. Like Profitable Plots (they top the lot) and really tacky Tongkat Ali ads. I am not saying they're all crap. But the majority is. Only a handful are brilliant, like those DiGi and Toyota ads...

And then there's MAMEE...



Don't you think so?

The Ben Syndrome

You know you've got Ben Syndrome when you...

...start peeling leafs of any nearby plant or tree crushing it into paste and then wipe it all over your pants and move on to the next leaf and the next.

...borrow one of your colleagues' portable HD for presentation, only to come back with bagfuls of McDonald's and no HD, and realized it, "Oh shit, I left it there!" after you take a bite.

...leave a trail of coffee droplets on the floor that leads to the abandoned half-finished cup of coffee.

...knocks anything down that's either directly or indirectly in your path, and then knock it down again in the space of 5-minutes and every subsequent 5-minutes until you leave that area.

...keep your dirty socks in your pocket then have it strewn all over the floor.

...have sex with your girlfriend in the wee hours of the morning and then say, "What? We did?!" when you wake up for work in the morning.

...spray it rather than say it.

...leaves a trail of disaster behind.


Yesterday morning, Ben had to go to a client's office to take some photographs. But our brilliant agency lacks a camera. So he had to loan someone's camera. Mike had one and decided to loan him his. But it's actually his girlfriend's, "Ben, DON'T LOSE THIS CAMERA!" warns Mike, "Look after it with your life,"

As the day progress, the feeling started to sink in as he tells us, "Shit wei, guess what I did this morning?"

"What" says me and JM.

"I loaned Ben my (his gf's) camera,"

"Uh oh,"

It was end-day. We were having a smoke just outside the studio on the first floor. We noticed Ben had just got back and he was with Mike downstairs discussing something. Minutes later, both of them came up and join us. Mike extended his hand to shake JM's, "Aren't you gonna welcome me to your club?"

"Huh?" not knowing what he meant, "OHHH!" finally processes the information, "BEN! OH MAN,"

[Club, what club? Let me justify, point no. 2 about the HD and McDonald's is JM's portable HD where he kept all his portfolio, old college work, tv shows, music and porn.]

"I know..." says Ben, looking all sappy.

Mike asked us to ask him when and where did he lose it, "When did you exactly lose the camera?" I ask.

"At Maybank,"

"Weren't you going to HLB?" I ask.

"Yeah, but before, I stopped by Maybank in the morning to do something,"

Maybe if he had lost it later in the evening wouldn't have been that frustrating. He lost it right at the VERY start. Even before he got to the client's office to take the photographs. Barely an hour after Mike had just told him to guard it with his life.

Ah, that's what we called it the Ben Syndrome. Be cautious, it's quite contagious. Some of us are starting to develop the symptoms. Crap.

"I am a lady you see..."

Question.

What do you get when there's 2 blokes who's bored to death?

Boredom + 2 blokes + 2 wigs + 1 boss and a splash of shamelessness...



*Tah dah*

I could actually have nightmares...
My parents have better not see this.

Fingered

It's actually pretty gross. I can't stop staring at it this morning since I took off the plaster. Yes, I sliced mah fing-gah! Great job, Meng. Now I can't play the guitar at home. Bloody hell.

The Lion Slays The Tiger

"Cha, we are so late!" the neh winged, "The jam is insane!"

It surely was. The jam unleashed it's mercilessness at the Federal Highway - Shah Alam toll. We were literally crawling to the stadium, "Neh," I looked at him with a slight disgust, "I can't believe you're so eager. It's not even Man U,"

"But still!"

"I know," I sigh.

20-or-so-minutes later, somehow, someway we actually found quite a decent parking spot. Considering that it's about a 15-minute walk, we did alright. The jam did took quite a toll on our enthusiasm. But that was only temporary, the closer we get the more we could hear the stadium's cheer. The louder it got, the quicker we plod.

"OH. MY. GOD.," I just couldn't stop smiling as I looked over to JM and Neh, "Can you believe this? Listen..."

Huuuu Haaaaa Huuuuu Haaaaa

As we walked to our gate, we pass by at least 8 gates, and each gate gave us a glimpse of the game that has already kicked off 25-or-so-minutes ago, "SHIT, SHIT, SHIT," I would start to lose my cool, "I can see the game! OMG OMG OMG," yeah, I can't imagine how I would feel if that was Man Utd.

Finally, we got to our seating area. JM was rather uncomfortable and was quite keen on moving higher up, where there are seats. You could sense Neh was already comfortable and a bit kiasu about it cause despite sitting the stairs, we had quite an alright view, "Let's move lah dude, we're blocking traffic.

We stood up hastily and seemed like we were gonna make a dash for those seats up there, which was about 10 meters away. But low and behold, 4 seats presented itself to us, and all we have to do was stand up, turn around, and take 2 steps.

We felt rather foolish we hadn't noticed it earlier.

After what seem like forever, and 3 solid rounds of the infamous Mexican waves, the game resumed.



As for our beloved National team, a lot was left to be desired. Unmotivated display, predictable passes, rugby-type shots on goal and hapless defending. I did say if we lose 0-2, we could consider that as a win. But how Chelsea won it made us look really silly. They seem to be jogging around, passing for fun while the National team we left chasing an elusive white blur which is the ball.

However, all in all, it was an experience. One I will never forget. Shame it wasn't Man Utd.



And I still have my voice, phew.

Lunch Smunch

After weeks of unrelenting, mind-numbing and shocking rounds after rounds after rounds of ridiculous muttonheaded inspired changes, The Dark Knight / AmBank Credit Cards joint-promotion is finally over.

"I am just glad it's finally over," sighs JM.

"Its funny you shoud say that," says I, "I remember you practically pounced on this project even before she could finish pronouncing DARK, 'We have this new campaign, its a tie-in with the upcoming movie, The Da...' and you already went, 'I'LL DO IT!'"

He laughs, "If only I had known,"

But let bygones BE bygones, it's all out there now. So we decided to take a trip down to Cineleisure and take photographs of the large format materials. And maybe steal some leaflets...

On the way in, we came across a peculiar sign, "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"What what?!"

"METAL CHAIN!"

They made it sounds so...dangerous.

Anyway, on the inside, we were hounded by at least 10 AmBank credit card sales people, "Sir what credit card you using ah? Sir this sir that blah blah blah," I just snapped pictures after pictures ignoring them. I was quite tempted to flash them my new Maybank DEBIT card, but I didn't.

We finally made our way to Ikea, and you know right, how Ikea can like...draw you...to, you know, buy things. Eventhough you could live well without them. I ended up buying a huge jar to keep coins, a tea light lamp and some tea lights. Why? Don't know. They look pretty.

We worked out quite a bit of an appetite. Of course we over ordered. I had the ham sandwich, meat balls and the bloody sweet chocolate cake while JM munched down this prawn sandwich, ham sandwich and meatballs, "No dessert?" I ask.





"Don't need it!"



"Alright, your loss."

I do know the afternoon is gonna suck with all of what we just had. The impending sluggishness of over-indulging during lunch...



Yeah it was that bad. The whole second half of the day was ruined. Damn that was some lunch.

3 Nights, 3 Days

So what have I been up to...

The Batu Fest 2008, as Neh so fondly call it is over and done with. Copious amount of alcohol, loads of incriminating pictures in Facebook and a total of over 700km of travelling in 3-days.

Thursday night, we left KL late. Therefore, we arrive late. Late as in 2am. But that did not dampen our spirit. The foreigners, Kev and Zach was already drowning in an ocean of alcohol abuse, not to mention Derek's unrelenting burst of political quotes and misquotes. Also due to the alcohol. We started partying there and then. In front of 7-11.

"Why are we drinking in front 7-11 when we're buying beers from Happy Mart?"

I think there was an explanation. Obviously I don't recall. We left at 4am.

Friday, BBQ was postponed due to Futsal. No way we're gonna pass that on. Followed by another drinking session at The Eclectic. (see incriminating pictures of me and my friends at Facebook)

Saturday night, Gan is celebrating his 25th, "Eh come yah, Sri Sayang," he tells us all.

Most of us would say, "Sri Sayang? OLD SKOOL!" Gosh, it has been close to 10-years since we last partied there.

"Whatever happened?" some would ask.

The rest would reply, "Northam happened."

"Oh."

Yes, "Oh."

After watching Ian impersonating Jamie Oliver while BBQ-ing, we actually dreaded to go over to Gan's party, "Man, we've drank waay too much," but somehow this happened, "OK, we go for 30-minutes then we leave,"

We stayed there for an hour and 30-minutes at least.

But I am over-the-moon that Kev and Zach finally get to watch THE TB MOVIE.

And Zach and Hanae's daughter is like the cutest baby EVER. Of course my kid would be cuter, heh. But she can have the title now.

Oh yeah, The Dark Knight movie was sensational! I think I should make a spoof called, "That Drunk Night."

I Smell Penang

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Yeah, I am going home this weekend. Ahhh, the smell of the jelly-fish laiden shores, the you-better-not-walk-barefeet-because-you-might-step-on-sharp-pointy-charcoals-from-yesterday's-bbq beaches, the Langkawi-ish price of alcohol at Arati's and of course...

MOM'S COOKING! I could almost taste it by now.
Gosh I miss my parents. Kinda miss getting nagged. Oh well...

The past 2-weeks, 2 of our friends finally made an effort to visit after 2-years abroad. You can't blame one as he has a family to care for, but for Kevin...shame on you! 2-years?! WTF MATE?! I know lah, London damn terror wan. But it's Penang wei. And you forgot about my MANCHESTER UNITED HOME JERSEY!!! AHHHHHH!!! LOL

Neh neh named the weekend, BATU FEST. I think it's quite self-explanatory. No wonder he isn't in advertising. But we all like to amuse him anyway. Heh.

I might just film the weekend, for The TB Movie 2. Sorry Xen, looks like you'll miss being in the sequel too and as for Roby and his 101th farewell (I quote Diana), he'll be off to Jakarta today. Actually that's quite a bummer. Roby's actually quite funny on screen. I'll give him 2-weeks before the Indonesian government kicks him out for sodomizing young boys being Roby.

And as for my life...
and my attempt to end my bachelorhood ...
I think I am quite...stuck. Stagnant. I don't know what to do.

But that's on the back seat for now, cos the weekend is itching closer and closer...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

My Weekdays

8.30 am. Alarm rings. Hit snooze button. Then again. And again. And again. Wake up. Roll out of bed. Drag self to toilet. Take a massive pee. Look at self in the mirror. Fix hair. Look for coffee. No coffee. Resume sleep on couch. Wake up. Scratch head. Drag self to room. Grab towel. Massive yawn. Cold shower. Shiver like mad. Spray deodorant on armpit. Apply hair gel. Put on clothes. Grab bag. Light a cigarette. Leave house. Walk down 3-flights of stairs.

Enter car. Enter hot car. Sweat a bit. Start car. Winds down window. Turn on radio. Reverse out. Wave at guards. Stop by 7-11. Buy coffee. Drink coffee. Drive off to work. No air-cond gas. Bloody stuffy. Winds down window. Light a cigarette. Finish cigarette. Winds up window.

Arrive at office. Throws coffee can into bin. Greets everyone. Make a cup of coffee. Hopes for an easy day. But had a bad day. A bad long day. Tight deadlines. Pinheaded clients. Stupid comments. Do anyway. Get job done while procrastinating. Looks at watch. 12am. Freaks out. Lights a cigarette. Talk crap with colleagues. Leaves office. Drive home. Wave at guard. Park car. Walk up 3-flights of stairs. Enter house.

Drag self into room. Strip. Grabs towel. Cold shower. Shiver like mad. Brush teeth. Have a cigarette with Ju. Bitch about the day. Lights another cigarette. Bitch some more. Ju leaves for bed. Picks guitar up (or PS2). Start playing. Satisfied. Walks to toilet. Pee. Shut off lights. Slams room door. Call her. Talk for an hour. Maybe more. She says its late. Hangs up. Feels terribly sleepy. Ridiculously tired. Yawns. Shuts off lights. Toss and turn. Cover self with a blanket. Uncover self with blanket. takes off shirt. And finally falls asleep 1 hour later.

Pinhead Bankers

Ah, a week and a half into my new job, I got something to show show :P
But firstly, I need you all to know that Hong Leong employees are idiots, have no idea what marketing is, have no idea how to visualize, uncreative, anal, unorganized and well, down right stupid.

Contradicts themselves by telling us graphs are cool only to tell us 2-days later that graphs are boring. Not to mention the smart-ass that came up with the investment plan name. Come on, Himalaya? Seriously? The Abode of Snow? You guys work in a bank. Snow = cold = freezes. Add the word "finance" somewhere and you'll see how this is just not right.

However, after bashing our heads because of these dimwitted meatballs, we actually came up with quite an interesting idea. How to depict "financial uncertainty".

We have to quite literally write an email so long we could actually sell it as a 253-page novel to drill it into their fickle minded chowder-heads that is will work (or maybe we're just sick of doing this, FYI, this is option 10 and deadline was 3-days ago).

So for your sake, don't ever bank with HLB. They don't seem to know what they're doing. Not to mention they have this weirded-out method of motivation for the employees.

What is it?

Are you ready for this?



They have an anthem which the whole team sings every morning. Followed by vigorously punching the air.

I'll be back...

I'm Out The Door, Finally

The only reason why I should set foot at this office again is to collect my half-month pay cheque.

OH-SO-GLAD-ITS-BLOODY-OVER

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Ping Pong Piang!

"Meng, can do make it look a little...less...ummm, professional?"

"You mean make it look mediocre?"

"Yeah,"

"Seriously?!"

This Is Why I Can't Live Without MSN

Miz D(D) says: (4:24:35 PM)
shit.

Miz D(D) says: (4:24:38 PM)
was msging you "down boy down"

Miz D(D) says: (4:24:48 PM)
then i realised i sent it to tuck's mom.

Miz D(D) says: (4:24:52 PM)
shitnesssss

Miz D(D) says: (4:25:08 PM)
then i quickly covered up said i was talking about her dog

Maui wauie says: (4:25:37 PM)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Miz D(D) says: (4:26:34 PM)
damn it lucky i din use the original line i intended "kneel boy kneel!"'

Maui wauie says: (4:27:09 PM)
HAHAHHA

Maui wauie says: (4:27:14 PM)
why are u saying this to me?!?!

Miz D(D) says: (4:27:39 PM)
you say "will work for food"

Maui wauie says: (4:29:40 PM)
uh huh

Maui wauie says: (4:32:12 PM)
and...?

Miz D(D) says: (4:32:50 PM)
i have no idea why i said that...

Top It Off With A Splash of Blog

I am broke, strangely free at the office and have been shitting all morning. So without further ado, let's get on with it.

I was telling JM this morning we should go to KL this weekend -- hang on, don't I live there? Yes and no. I am living in KL, except that it's actually Selangor. So anyway -- I said, "We should have like a mini road trip to KL this weekend dude," because he's been telling us about this ridiculously good pan mee in KL and that he really, really wants to take us there.

That was a month and a half ago and we've not gotten any closer to going there. This weekend should be it, "We could go get that FM Transmitter too!" he said. For those who didn't know, JM got himself a spanking new iPod classic (and bought a iPod nano 8GB as a birthday present for his dearly beloved too, how sweet) and is buzzing with excitement.

"I am so in love with the iPod man. So in love with it I think I love it more than I love her!" and he tells me he would hug it to sleep if only it was big enough, "Yet again, I might crush it,"

I give him 1 month. Then he'll just use the iPod as oppose to idolizing it like I did when I got mine 2 years ago, heh.




On the other side, I asked Nehneh if he would like to join us this weekend, if he is not going back to Penang, "Can't cha, I am going back to Penang," oh bloody hell, "But can you take Kenneth out?"

"Neh, I am not gonna babysit your boyfriend man!" I laughed at him. Sometimes our pretending-to-be-gay conversations can get really disgusting. Shocking that 2 straight blokes can pretend so well. I asked Neh to give me his number, "I bet you have it on speed dial,"

"@#$% lah, hahaha, here it is, 012-XXXXXXX and no I don't have him on speed dial!" and challenges me, "I bet you don't know JM's girl's number by heart,"

What? "Hmm, no I don't remember the number, why would that matter?"

"She's your titty boy's boy mah,"

"Yeah, I can remember my titty boy's number," crap, he just tricked me into saying that, "You jealous is it? My titty boy's titties is bigger than your titty boy's titties," god that's a lot of titties in a sentence.

"Mine no titties wan :( cha, what's with you and titties man?" Neh asks.

"What about it?"

"I don't know, you're best mate has got moobs, your housemate/niece has huge boobs and the girl you are after has got quite a rack as well,"

Now that he put it into perspective, "Woah, I never realized..." <--- honest to god! "Hahaha, I guess I like titties?" I've always thought I was more of an ass-person. Did I mention I took 30-minutes to find a parking space? And I still had to bloody walk for 2-minutes. Yeah, THE SECRET told me if I assume pretend that I already got the space, the space will present itself to me. What load of bollocks. I don't know why I wrote all that. But for those who actually had nothing better else to do, you are rewarded with my first ever attempt on green screen (actually its this software called Photobooth on the mac), it's pretty cool.

That Guy

On a terribly humid Sunday morning, a guy could choose to sleep-in in order to regain some strength for partying way into the wee hours of the morning.

That guy could choose not to get up at all. However, the guy chose to perform his domestic duties.

This guy has been 'one-with-the-phone' almost all morning despite the fatigue, replying every message dispatched to him (from her) with a hint -- if not monumental -- sense of enthusiasm.

He reminisces about the night that has passed, he reflects, he wanders and he ponders what was and what could have been. He spurn every opportunity when his mind descends into the dark, telling himself he did alright and that the circumstances weren't necessary on his side. And that if it was, he might have fancied his chances. He knew it was a lovely date.

He saw a stack of dirty laundry and immediately walked to the kitchen -- or rather the empty space that's suppose to be the kitchen -- and grab a medium sized Ikea plastic bag. He stuffed all his laundry in and without further ado, he hit the road.

Before, he was still one-with-the-phone replying every SMS within the minute. He paused in mid step and thought of inviting her for lunch -- even though he knows she already had lunch with the family earlier -- but she texted him back before he could ask. She says she is tired and would want to have a nap. He understood, after all, she went through what he went through.

On the road, the guy finally gets some quiet time to himself. For the first time since rolling out of bed, he thinks about something else apart from her. He thought of what would he like to eat. He is lazy, not in the mood to eat alone and is not in the mood for Burger King either. The guy dropped off his laundry and decided on some McDonald's, "Oh how creative!" he says to himself.

He drove his car, ordered and picked up his meal without stepping out, he looked into the sky -- only to see the roof of his car -- and praised whoever that invented the idea of a Drive-thru. He slowly goes thru the bumps because the guy loves his pathetic little car and went round the roundabout to head back home and gorge himself silly.

This guy was compelled -- out of a sudden -- to readjust his rearview, maybe because he slumped lower than usual to find a sloppy comfortable position to drive. He notices something familiar on his rearview. He watched, he scrutinize.

"Ignorant is bliss."

Eventually, he recognizes the car behind him. But he doesn't recognize the person on the wheel. He knows thats not the brother, he knows he's too young to be a father. He noticed beside him was her. With someone else on the wheel. He knows he has this nagging jinx on him that whenever he feels an enormous sense of positive energy, it will only be met with an equal and opposite reaction to it soon after.

He texted her to make it known to her that she has been spotted. And that he knows she isn't taking a nap like she said she would. The reply took longer than he expected and he sat just in front of the sofa, staring blankly into an empty-not-turned-on TV screen. Eating tasteless nuggets, or at least the moment did make it feel like it. And he forgot to call his best mate for dinner plans. Left him hanging because he couldn't process what he just saw. Mind lost in thoughts or lack there of. The loveliness of the night before hadn't settled in. He came crashing down from his ascend to the clouds.


He is very confused and does not know what to do.

Lack of Internet

I got robbed the other day, the night Man Utd won the coveted Champions' League. They broke into my car via the small window panel on the back-pssenger seat, the triangular-cannot-wind-down one. It was such an unlikely scenario that I even drove all the way to Puchong from SS2 only to realize that wind sound was caused by the lack of a small window panel, "I thought there was something wrong with the car, man," I tell JM. I only realized I got robbed the minute I arrived in Puchong as I stepped down to look for my overnight bag, "Hmmm, where my bloody bag? Why are they tiny little diamonds in my car?" Thinking my car can shit out diamonds, I was quite delighted. But the part where I couldn't find my red bag coupled by those shiny little things I went, "Oh fuck,"

I wasn't that upset that my bag got stolen, it was the taxing ordeal of having the bloody window fixed. Then I realized, "Oh shit dude, I had a MU jersey and a pair of MU shorts in it!"

BLOODY HELL. I love them shorts wei.

-------

I can't stop thinking that I am in 'Across the Universe' constantly bursting into a Beetle song.

-------

I've finally made my move. But I can't help but think what was it that broke-up their friendship. She always dodged the topic while the other never talk about it. But he tells me it has something to do with me. Honestly, I am starting to freak out.

-------

Frankly, it's 15-pass-7, I ought to leave this shit hole office. Cherio.

I Wish I Did That

Best ad ever!

It's Almost Over

What? Panasonic? Haraplah they over. It's perpetually going in a vicious 'Oh I don't know what I want, why not you suggest something to us -- but actually we already know what we want, which is overly cluttered with garbage and deprive you of a proper social life and sleep' cycle.

I came to the point where it was either me or Panasonic. Obviously they won't drop the ONLY big account they have. So guess who handed in his 30-days notice?! Oh yeah! Life, here I come.  

Here's another work I am somewhat OK with.

At Least I Enjoyed Doing This

Filling Up Spaces

"Is it centralized?" my arm was at full stretch, testing out the position of the clock.

I could sense Ju wasn't entirely sure if its center or not, but she still blabbed out a very convincingly, "Yeah!" she said, "Feels a lot more homey, huh?"

It's funny how one simple wall clock a empty apartment can make such a huge difference, "It so absolutely does,"

We spent the entire weekend decking out the house (well, as much as we could anyway). Of course it didn't help that I overslept on both days, waking up at 2pm on Saturday and 4pm on Sunday. But die-die also must go furniture shopping.

I finally got me a wardrobe. Fitting it in to Elaine's car was a challenge, well, half the challenge because the other half was carrying the wardrobe up 2 flights of stairs, twisting and turning. I gotta give it Ian, we made it all the way. Albeit taking a lot of breaks, "Dude, dude, dude, dude, break break break!" either one of us would mutter.

I got me a table, a sweet office chair for -- guess how much? -- ohh you won't believe me. I got it for RM29! Hee hee, what a buy.

Ju bought herself a side table, the wall clock. Then the next day, another table for herself, plastic drawers, curtains and the best of the bunch...

A bloody sofa!

Which we somehow manage to cramp it into Ju's Myvi, then lug up 2-flights of stairs, "I am so not assembling the sofa tonight," I told her as I setup the curtains for the living room. Already late, I need to be at Ian's by 10pm for the Man Utd game.

And yes, we won the title. Wooooo!!!

Beeeeeeee

I wore the Malaysian National Home Football Jersey today and tried the day's Cheesy Pick-up Line on Porky, "I am a bee today, are you my honey?"

"No, I am not!"

"You're a flower,"

"What?"

"Zzzzzzzz....*stings*"

"Oi!" *Smack!*

The line doesn't work by the way.

Routines

Hello lovelies, since I found myself alone at the office -- eerily strange -- and a whole day to do whatever that's left. I thought I jot down a few things for May. Since its a week into May and I haven't updated this thing I called a blog.

I made my first trip back to Penang last weekend. You can imagine that sense of joy and relief. Not to mention my speedy recovery from my last psoriasis relapse. It's amazing how the island can fix anything. Well, almost anyway. I reached home and I instantly fell back onto my old Penang-routine. It was as if I never left. I immediately found comfort, that sense of belonging. I was finally back home. So I lit a cigarette and sat on the balcony and wander. Enjoying the view of Penang Hill. Just like old times.

It's been 3-days since Penang. And I am back to this viciously godawful routine. Or lack there of. First day back, barely enough sleep -- due to staying up to celebrate Neh-neh birthday on Sunday, Happy Birthday Neh! -- I worked from 10am till 4am. Not fun. Not to mention yesterday, it didn't get any better. I left the office at 1am. What's worst is that I hadn't showered at all yesterday. I woke up that morning only to find the water supply has been cut. Due to maintenance.

"You look terrible man," JM tells me the obvious during our KFC lunch.

I was desperately trying not to look like that, I can't even fix my hair, so I opted for the 'smashed-up-hair-cos-I-wore-a-cap' look, "Oh man, I haven't showered dude," says I, "No water lah," and proceeded to have a quick wash-up in KFC. I guess that how life is 'on-the-go'.

Eventually, I finally got my first and only shower for the day at 1.30am. That incident made me think, where the hell is the letterbox, anyway? Gosh, the electric/water bills could be in it.



I need internet at home, badly.
(and astro)

Empty Shack

Last weekend I finally moved to my own place. The Love Shack I call it. Of course, there isn't much lovin' going on, just yet. Because I desperately need furniture. The only thing I have right now is my bed and my amphibious ironing board. Which is also my side table. Albeit a little too high up.

If only I had an insane amount of moolah to deck out my crib with cheap Ikea furniture.

Ah, independence can be quite harsh.

Heaven Smiled at Me

I was at ze bank this afternoon, doing, umm, banking stuff, "Morning," I greeted this strangely bubbly and blissfully cheerful bank assistant lady.

"YeSsSsS..." she walks right up to where I am standing. She seems to bounce rather than walk. She is kinda hot. An alluring smile. Sizzling red skirt. Umm, anyway...

"I was just at the ATM, I don't think I know how to transfer my funds to another bank," I pointed to the machine and scratch my head a little, "How can I make a transfer?" She stood right next to me and explained to me -- while I was checking out her massive cleavage -- that I needed to fill in a form in order to get my transfer, "Umm, sorry, can you repeat that again?" She explained again to my benefit, bending a little to point out where and what I needed to fill in. Oh yeah. Halfway thru the heavenly expose` my phone rings, bloody hell, "Hello?!" I picked up.

It was one of 'em interns calling me. The road-show we've been slaving over a month is finally up and running. Call me selfish, but I choose to stay in the office as oppose to being there and do some work, because my work was the whole month and finally some down-time to recuperate me mind. I'll help out, but only if its related to my job scope, which is artistic direction or art or design, "Meng ah, where are you ah?"

I replied, "I am the bank," and she slowly bounced away to another customer. Dammit, now he gets to enjoy 'em heavenly cleavage. But he was way shorter than me so my view was better, hah, but still slightly frustrated, I asked, "What do you want?!"

"What are you doing there ah?!" he asks.

"I'm actually here with a couple of Dessert Eagles strapped onto my waist, a huge army knife stuffed into my cheap F.O.S. buy-two-free-one pair of socks trying to launch an all-out onslaught to plunder this rich Hongkie bank and a bag full of explosives to blow everything up if all goes wrong,"

"Hah?!"

"I am withdrawing some money lah!" I justified the out-and-out and downright obvious.

"Oh, they need you back at the office soon leh, on standby, might have an emergency," he says.

It has only been a mere 15-seconds, but I already miss 'em heavenly cleavage, "Right, I'll have call you back," my eyes frantically searching, "Kinda busy now," stupid old balding uncle is so looking at 'em jugs from the heavens. YOU ARE SO BLOODY MARRIED. Go home and check out your own wife's tits and leave her alone! Bastard.

And after all that, they told me at the counter that my cheque hasn't cleared, "Umm, but I just checked the ATM, it states that it has," now I am confused as hell. The Angelic cleavage girl seems to have vanished. Probably flew back to Heaven out for lunch. :(

Ugly lady on the counter with no cleavage and has a big bulging-gonna-explode-any-minute-now-you-butter-duck-for-cover pimple on the right side of her forehead says, "If you bank in after 2.30pm, it will take 3-working days to clear a local cheque,"

Right. I am so bloody screwed then. It has been 2-months and 1-week since I got any money rolling into any of my bank accounts. I am so br-broke! At least dapat cuci mata.

And when I got back, there was no emergency. Thank god it's Friday.

Classy

It was Wednesday, 8.30pm, it's pouring mad outside and we were about to leave the house -- neh neh's house -- to go to Sunway Pyramid to send some work related documents over to my colleagues before heading to JM's. We were at the front door and I am literally shoving my feet into my Pumas, "Ummm, what shoes should I wear?" Vig wonders, his eyes sweeping thru the collection of shoes, which is mostly Sim's. Bastard is sponsored by Nike. Jeles gila.

I was actually in a hurry, not a major hurry, but I would rather just get this over with, "Hah, wear slippers can dee lah!" its not like we're going anywhere fancy.

With a slight and futile attempt to sound British, he replied, "No cha, I want to look a lit-erl* classy," [*lit-erl is little, pronounce in a Brit accent, or at least tried to]

"Classy? What classy? You're wearing a sodding old white un-ironed, ridiculously crumbled and faded T-shirt that reads 'Selamatkan Sungai Kita' and you're telling me you want to look classy?!"



The next 10-minutes was spent lying on the floor trying to stop laughing.

No, That's Not The G-String

It's impossible to teach someone let alone tune a guitar via webcam halfway round the world. It just can't be done!

Flashings

Here's a rarity. Some spare time to blog. I don't even know where to start...

Snippet #1

We were having lunch. It's pouring mad, he blurts out, "Dude I am horny lah,"

I glared at him, "Dude!" eyes rolled to the left, where there's a mom and her son sitting uncomfortably close to us, "A little more discretion?"

He hasn't been getting any and he's starting to lose his mind, "Dude, I need sex!" he blurts out again, this time, slightly louder than before.

Again, "DUDE!" eyes rolls to the left, "You're gonna mess this kid up, man."

Then the coffee shop boys decided to gay each other up in front of us, "Umm dude, lets bloody get out here," bloody tripped out lunch man.

-----

Snippet #2



The weather has been rubbish since the day I arrived here. Pissing rain all the bloody time. Not that I hate the rain, I just hate to work on such a lovely, cold, cosy day like this.

-----

Snippet #3



This is why I hate my job so much. Can you spot the iMac? Nope, not a great way to start the day. Did I mention it's been pouring like mad?

-----

Snippet #4

Vig, Kenneth and Danny were having a lazy afternoon chilling at Vig's. They had just downloaded Rambo 4 and was keen on watching. They hook up Vig's heavily bandaged laptop to the JVC surround speakers and proceeded to watch the unnecessarily violent movie, just after the credits, "Eh, you know what would be great?"

"What?"

"Watching this on a big LCD TV!"

They texted me, "Meng, come an hour later, gotta go get something,"

I arrived an hour later, ran thru the rain, and this happened.



"All this for Rambo 4?"

"YEAH!"

Oh Yeah. I Have A Blog

Man, I can't remember the last time I had the chance, the time to just have a nice cold drink (could be fruity or beer, doesn't really matter at this point, does it?) by the balcony or anywhere for that matter.

I haven't had a decent day off since I started work. It's rolling out of bed in the morning, then a pathetic attempt to sleep in the kitchen while waiting for the kettle, make coffee, drink, shower, change, work, then by 10pm-ish or so (on average) I go home. Of course, I'll make a pit-stop first. I need to restore some order man.


Laters.

Moved

Hmmm, I don't feel as if I've moved. It still feels like I am here on holiday and come Sunday I will hop onto a bus and make my way back to the island. I know that's not the case. I know there isn't a bus ride waiting for me. As much I am trying to soak up the "city", it still haven't quite sunk in yet.

Ooo, also, I didn't get lost. Smooth sail from the highway to my new temp home. I am starting to regret living so damn near to Ikea. Oh what the heck...

Go me!

Relapse? What Relapse?

Sometime ago, I bought a bag which wasn't really a bag. In fact, it wasn't a bag at all. It was a sports jacket. Ignoring my total need of a bag, I blew my budget on the jacket and did not feel an ounce of guilt. I love that jacket.

But anyway, for the past 3-days, I've been shopping with mom. No it wasn't a shopoholic relapse, I needed all those goods to start my, ummm, new life? (Oh how cliche Meng) And also spend some quality time with mom before I move out. Yeah, so it was time for change. I bought me 2 pairs of shoes, wallet, shirts, things to put in my car, Smart TAG and lots more. Mom helped a bit along the way cos me being the son of the year, am quite broke really.

We went thru all the major shopping malls in Penang, went to Gurney, Prangin, KOMTAR and then Queensbay. BJ was ruled out for obvious reasons and both of us couldn't be bothered to drive to Butterworth.

It was in Queensbay that I finally, finally saw a bag in which I actually like! And on top of that, it's below RM100. Most bags I've seen are either RM200 above or waaaay above. But this one was perfect. No tacky brand logo on the front flap, it's in the perfect size and it has like a billion compartments for everything!

Special little hidden pockets for your mobile phone, PDAs and what not. Compartments for documents, secret compartments (ooo I like), a laptop up to 16" can fit in it and my personal favourite...

See my beautiful scratchless 30GB iPod?

Tah-dah! Isn't that just fabulous? A iPod compartment! Oh yeah. It was that pocket that made my buy the bag. The selling point. So alas, I finally bought a new bag. A proper bag. I can finally move out from my dandruff-laiden green Adidas bag which I have been using for 4 years. And now, after all that shopping, I am officially broke. I hope my savings is enough to carry me thru March.

Oh, and I designed a namecard for aunty Sue, Vig's mom. Check it out.


Oh yeah. I like. Later all!

My Feet Will Now Sing

Ahhh, new shoes. Finally.



Honestly, I didn't really fancy this one. But when the price tag reads, "RM79.90", it got my attention, "Mom, what do you think?" I ask her, stating my point that it's sop cheap, I'll buy it just for kicks.

"Meng, see," she points at the 30% discount card placed on the shelves, "Ask her and see,"

Indeed there was a 30% discount. But the discount I got was way more, "After the discount, its RM48.90,"

I'm thinking shouldn't it be like RM50-something? Oh well, what the heck, "I'll take it. Size 11, please."

And then I found this. Too bad it lacks red to give it that rasta feel. But it's still a nice colour. Being the purist that I am, the newer adidas classics aren't really classic. Shiny stripes, edgy stuff on the side does kill the 'classic' appeal. This one is true to its roots. Classic indeed. I'm done looking for size 11 Pumas. Fed up already. So here I am. Back to Adidas.



Of course, mom couldn't resist as well. She bought a Nike later on. Man has she step up to the fashion world with her purchase of a radical coloured shoe. How radical? It's silver. She was gonna get the gold one but the silver one would be easier to match. But I am not posting it up here.

What? Its my blog, not her's.