What Up, Doc?

Uh huh, I get to be a doctor today. Man, I’m sure I made my parents swollen with pride with my sudden career change (which lasted for 3 hours). So, I would like to be referred as Dr. Meng, hookay?

Well, all that nonsense aside, we zoomed to Kepala Batas just after rush hour for yet another video shoot outing. Well, in case if anyone’s wondering…we chose that place because our PM was born in that area…hence, they have the most state-of-the-art hospital on the northern region (arguably, if not Penang).

As we have to follow strict hospital policy, we have to don the doctor’s pajamas-like attire. Yeah, the full set. The shirt, the pants, the slippers, the gloves, the facial mask and the err…shower cap? Anyway, being me, I’m easily fascinated. Thus, I went on a photo snapping rampage. I shot everyone, heh. No survivors. *Ahem*

It was fun, having the experience of feeling almost like a legitimate doctor. Minus the fat paycheque and 10 year long education.

We even had the privilege of going into an actual surgery room with an actual patient being operated by real surgeons. Phew, we were having problems simulating a surgery, luckily, we had the real thing.

I stood there, watching from the other side of the door, staring thru the small little window while I summon the nerve to enter. “What’s up?” I asked the other doctor standing next to me. Muffled by his facial mask he mumbled, “Ghdenfuwef”.

I’m like “Huh?”
“Gdneineifjer!!!” he repeated.
“What? I’m not getting ye flow, doc”
Frustrated, he removed his mask and went “Payu dara lah!”
“Ohhh…”

Embarrassed, I hurried my way into the surgery room to avoid that awkward moment. “OK, ciao!” I thought of asking, cancer or enlargement. But what the heck, I can tell you one thing, watching a boob being sliced into half isn’t amusing or fascinating. Urks!

Alas, after shooting the actual surgery, we moved on to the vacant surgery room next to it and stage our own ‘surgery’.

It was fun being a doctor for one day.


From left: The videographer, The boss, The tall, The talent/client & his lovely assistant. And the patient, Joe.

"CHANGE" You Lah! Grrr...

I hate advertising! OK, I don’t. But I hate Malaysian advertising. I can live with all the ridiculous rules, restrictions and their so-called censorship. But it’s the inconsistency with the censorship that’s bothering me.

Hey, why Marie-France Bodyline and all the other slimming agencies can post up beautiful women with skimpy swim suits on their full page ads but not mine? On top of that, my pic is off-center which means you can hardly see anything but the legs. Even so, it got censored. Now I gotta use a pic with some chick wearing jeans and a pair of hideous-looking boots.

Furthermore, the first part of our 4 series ads was published today on page 28 The Star, Nation section. The original header reads “Fuck the Status Quo”, but of course, it will be censored lah, so mah change lor, into “F@#K the Status Quo”. Even so, it wasn’t allowed. OK, fair enough, still very vulgar. From there, it became “STUFF The Status Quo”…which is kinda dumb already…and of course, being them, they decided to censor us anyway. Grrr…now, you would think it couldn’t get any worse…but I could and it did. Now, it’s “CHANGE the Status Quo”. Moreover, the body copy had to be changed as well…

From…

“Our apologies if you are offended. Please don’t be. We just wanted to get your attention to focus on what’s been happening.

The classical form of property advertisements (yes, that’s what this is all about). A splash of pictures. Pricing. Facilities. Features. Location Map. Interiors. The obligatory promise of a better lifestyle. Blah, blah, blah. And by the time you’ve read through the ad, if you are indeed a property buyer, chances are you’ve still not have made up your mind based on what a piece of paper had illustrated. Considering most properties being in the hundred thousand Ringgit category, we thought it’d be a tad too dangerous to let a RM15k press ad do the talking for us.

So, we’d actually like to get you to call the number below and let the Sales professionals actually earn their keep. We’re sure they’ll do a better job. Plus you get to hear a voice. And speak to an actual person.

They will tell you about the accolades. Like the company’s Golden Award at the Malaysian International Landscape & Garden Festival 2004. Or the numerous Quality ISO certificates. We’re sure they’ll also mention that this upcoming project is the first of its kind. A mixed development to cater to all the needs of the home buying public. With some interesting & innovative features too. All from a developer with an extensive track record with developments covering nearly every nook and cranny of the Malaysian peninsular. With over RM 1 billion in assets (to ensure a secured investment). And operations stretching as far away as Australia.

End of the day, a different kind of development deserves a different kind of approach. Make the call and experience the difference. More information available when you call...(XX-XXXXXXX)”

Into…
Hmm, well, it’s too sickening to have it posted. So just go read it on the papers lah. Page 28 :)

There’s 2 more coming up plus one full colour finale ad which is heavily censored as well. I will post it up when it’s released. Sickening.

I can hear Lim Kit Siang’s 1995 DAP rally on Tanjung Bungah echoing in my head…
“Today, we burn The Star, burn The Star!”

Kick the Ball

I’m so sick of organizing the weekly Futsal outing (sorry Sim, it’s just too much for me). As of now, I’ve had it. No more! I ain’t organizing any shit for no one. Except parties :)

Time to hang up the boots I guess.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." - Frank Sinatra.

I found that quote on some blog I stumble upon. Cool. It justifies it.

They Just Don't Care

They don’t signal when they turn or switch lane. They don’t use breaks if the car in front slows down, but they swerve to the next lane (without signaling, of course). They park wherever and whenever they please. They jump queue, cause frantic confusion and make drivers slam their brakes. They think high-lights should be used all the time. They drive onto your lane and honk you to move away, even though they’re on the wrong side. They float between lanes. They drive waaaay below the speed limit on the fast lane.

And if anything should happen, they blame you for being a lousy driver.

No, I’m not referring to Eugene Gan or the local Ah Bengs. I’m not pointing my fingers at the Mat Rempits or Mat Motor (whatever the difference is). I’m not blaming the ministers and they’re police escorts.

But I’m condemning the drivers of Penang.
If you can drive on the roads in Penang, you can drive anywhere in the world. They should use Penang as an international driving school course. Send in aspiring F1 racers, would-be rally drivers or regular road drivers to drive here. If they pass with flying colours, I bet they will be the best racing drivers, rally drivers and be accident-free for the rest of their lives. Provided if they don’t become one of them. The Penang drivers of course. :)

Meow Meow

Awww, aren't they too cute?

In came mommy cat. Awww...

Island in the Sun

It’s hot when it’s cold
It’s cold when it’s hot

Being confined to cot
I reflect, consider and contemplate

Maybe it isn’t such a good idea at all
Perhaps I could put it on-hold
Or not go at all
Like I’ve been told

After the panadol worked its miracle, hunger kicks in with an attitude. So I took a drive around town, just to clear my mind off things, and maybe drive off this bug while scouting for lunch. Haven’t seen Penang in awhile. There are just some things I need to do, just to have that ‘at home’ feel again. I head off and stopped by Pulau Tikus’ Hup Kee Kopitiam to have…my favourite, Wan Tan Mee, of course. Believe it or not, I’ve been eating this lady’s Wan Tan Mee since I was 6. It brings back some nostalgia of better, simpler times. That Kopitiam has not changed one bit since then, still the same old wooden benches at the side with back rest that are almost 90°, the extremely old electric powered wall clock, even the stall arrangement hasn’t changed much. I could almost see the early '90s Tans. Timeless.

After a satisfying lunch, off to town side, just to pass by places that will bring back good memories. Saints, EAA (strange), Chulia Street, Love Lane and the ever hectic and restless Penang Road. Would have loved to go back into Saints to catch some good old dirt-cheap school canteen Char Koey Teow, but damn, it's the school holidays. Anyway, since I’m all the way there, I’ve gotta head to Campbell Street’s famous chicken rice. The one near to that Rolex shop lah, damn good one. 100x better than Fatty Loh, confirm. Yeah, the one with the loud-speaker cum server dude. Finding a space to park is a real bitch though, but it’s worth the effort. Besides, its central town, where a parking space is worth more than gold. Cendol at that lorong is a must if you’re all the way in town and already have a space to park. Just walk lah, its worth it also. Of course, you gotta battle thru at least 20 other customer to get your bowl. (Still worth it)

I miss those times. I used to do it a lot back in foundation year at EAA. At the end of that little adventure of self re-discovery, I thought maybe, just maybe…I’ve got all I need right here.

Money’s no good there
So it is worthwhile?

Despite the extremely lousy driver mind-set in Penang
Maybe I’ll just stay cooped up in the island
Just a while longer.

Millionaire Me

Well, at least when they ask, I can say
“Yeah, I’ve held a million bucks before.”
...with my bare hands,

Milo Ais is on me! :)

Short Changed

It has been a chaotic week thus far.
Strange how a leisurely day in the office can turn around so badly. The boss hurried his way into the office having just zoomed back from Butterworth, “Meng, grab the video camera, we’ve got a video shoot to do. And they need it by tomorrow.”

Knowing we are not well equipped with videography equipment and talent, I hesitated and gave him an agitated look, “What video?! Not enough time lah” but I still gave it a shot.

Only to find out later, we were gonna shoot a corporate presentation video in which it should be instrumental in winning them a USD$200Mil contract. Yeah, you heard me, 200 Mil US Dollars. Imagine the pressure and burden on my shoulders. Overwhelming it was. Then we are only getting RM3K out of it. Wait a second, are not being short changed here?

All that aside, we went on with the shoot. With literally no experience in filming this video, we needed all the help we could get from the staff. But help was the only thing that was short apart from our weak and hapless camera’s battery life. We have to reshoot that damn bloody video 3 fucking times. I don’t mind that, it’s just that every time we re-shoot the video, we have to pass the ridiculously heavy security protocol which involves emptying our pockets, removing all metal objects and go thru a metal detector. Let’s not get into the smog and bunny shoes we have to wear to enter the production line. (Note: Bunny shoes are not those with a rabbit’s head on em. It’s just called that way, I don’t know why).

At the end of it, it was already 10pm, and we’ve still got virtually nothing settled. With internal office politics raging on, we knew we had to go, we’re just here to shoot a damn bloody video, god dammit. So we hastily say our goodbyes and like a super-unfriendly-stray-cat, we scrammed as fast as the wind.

At least one good thing to look forward to this week. Yeah, it’s Futsal. Haven’t played since June.

The Unconventional Death Cheater

Early Bird Got No Worm

And I thought, locking myself out from the car is embarrassing enough but it has come to my attention that it can be brought up to a whole new level.

So, I arrived extremely early for a birthday dinner/pre-party at La Bananas (which surprised everyone including myself, since I’m never on-time). Ms Mini (Annie) called while I was frantically signaling a turn to avoid hitting all those bikers with a death wish zooming pass me, “Meng ah, where are you ah?”

“I’m here already, where you?” says I while praying for a good parking spot.
“Err, (long pause) on the way liao…see you there in a bit.” *clicks*

And so the wait begins...

Pretty shot, huh? :P

5 minutes…
10 minutes…
30 minutes…
45 minutes…

Where the hell is everyone?! I know I’m early, but it wasn’t THAT early lah.
So I sent an SMS to the mini girl…only to find out that both of them are locked…inside…Sherlyn’s apartment along with Sherlyn herself.

…right.

Even the arrival of the birthday girl (and Ms. Mini), a fair bit of waiting was still required. Malaysians will be Malaysians.


HAPPY (she refuse to reveal her true age) BIRTHDAY SHERLYN AKA ANG HIAH!

Sub-Reality

Last night, sleep eluded me, as I toss and turn trying in vain to slither into the state of unconsciousness, there she was. She greeted me with the most beautiful smile, the most gorgeous look on her eyes.

“What are you doing here?” She asked as she took a few steps closer. “You should be asleep; you’ve got a lot of work tomorrow.”

I whispered to her…like a kid, anxiously keeping my cool “I know I do, but sleep has gone on the train without me.”

“You missed your ride?” she grins “Or were you waiting for someone?” then she winks.

“Maybe I was.”

The world was oblivious at that moment
The lack of sleep, the excessive work
Nothing else matters anymore
She’s just within grasp
I embraced her

It was pure ecstasy
It was truly sublime
Euphoria flooded within
Finally, we have come to be

I asked myself
How could anyone improve on perfection?
When all is flawless and immaculate
Ideal.

If only I’ve known, I would have shut it off.
Then there would be perpetual bliss
I could hear a faint sound in the background
Gradually gaining more and more decibels

Before I knew it, I was awakened by my phone.
I didn’t even realize I’ve fallen asleep
It took awhile before reality was grasped
That it was only a dream.

Good Food

Sometime last week, I dropped by McD Green Lane to pickup breakfast via drive-thru.
“Good morning sir, what would you like to order?” – she asked.
“I want err, set number 4 with coffee…” – as I glanced thru I saw that red thing…
“Does it come with that?”

Sunday morning hung overs, ahhh, I call it normality. If you don’t have a decent hangover on Sunday morning, that means you’ve had an awful Saturday night. But hangovers can be cruel; especially when you have one of those hangovers that make you feel so damn hungry you could eat an entire cow then you walked into the kitchen and only to find out that mom has overslept and missed her routine Sunday morning market trips but still manage to conjure something up, that requires you to wait for an hour. And the smell didn’t help me one bit while waiting.

Man, the Tandori Chicken smells too damn good and it’s taking too damn long! Aaarrgh…

Second Take on Life

I’ve always believe, that in life; nothing is ever certain.
I know that nothing should ever be taken for granted.
Though I make a point to give closure all the time.

Just like everyone or everything,
We’re just seconds away from disaster

We could spend everything, our efforts, our lifetime
To achieve greater heights, wealthier success, tighter bonds.

However, it’ll always only seconds away from falter
If it should, for whatever cruel and harsh reason.

Yesterday,
A friend of mine had an accident.
In the most ghastly manner no one could see in your mind's eye
A 4x4 crashed his bike and the back wheel ran over his head

We could spend our existence improving perfection
Humanizing friendships, building memories

But, a few seconds is all it takes
Before you end up clinging on memories
Of what that has come to pass
When it’s all that’s left of better times

Lucky for us
Lucky for him

For once
It was a good thing both were driving and riding fast
Or because his helmet detached, absorbing the impact
Or that the car ram his bike first before his head

The laws of physics was on his side

He cheated death…
…again.

With only flesh wound to remind him and us
That we're always only seconds away from disaster.

Sigh

First…
The anticipation was great

And…
Hope was through the ceiling

But…
All will go to waste

Being me…
I know where I stand

It don’t matter
I’m just there to make up the numbers

Despite…
Trying to impress

With…
Perseverance.

I’m nothing but just an extra.
A blurred character in the back.
Insignificant and pitiful.

Red Monday

Hah! I’ve told you to support with us. I told you to start watching it. And if you had, I bet you had a wonderful and fantastic Monday. Yes, god damn unassailable Chelsea has finally been gun down and by none other than…of course…the one and only…

MANCHESTER UNITED!!

Though I doubt Chelsea will falter as bad as Arsenal did when they got their ass whooped back then (even though I really hope so), but finally…we finally get to beat the new and true rival. Truth is, if no one had realized, Arsenal ain’t much of a contender anymore especially when Arsenal FC Thierry Henry is injured. Come on! Henry is Arsenal, without him, Arsenal becomes mediocre.

Unlike Arsenal, whose 49-game run bit the dust on the same ground last year, Chelsea accepted their defeat with grace. Beaten, not by a team of greater quality, but by one who would not - dare not - lose.

Back with the reds, hoooo yeah! We won! Heh! I bet those blue boys are having an extremely blue Monday.

Though it was obviously a fluke goal, who cares? We won! Hey, Gudjohnson scored a somewhat fluke-like goal as well when they beat us last season. What goes around comes around baby.

End of the Week

A week-long break
Tones of drinks
One hangover

That’s the highlight of this week’s Deepavali+Raya combo holiday. Just to have the idea of a drink in my hand will unsettled stomach. I don’t want to drink anymore! Hell no! No more!

I could go on actually, have been postponing my hangover anyways, but it’s freaking Sunday. Where did the whole week went? Man, it’s too fast. I wish we could have like a massive clash of holidays like this more often. Imagine having CNY, Christmas, Raya, Deepavali, Korban, Good Friday, Thaipusam, Merdeka etc all cramped inside a month or two. Walan, crazy. Sure havoc man. Holiday trips, parties, hangouts…anyone could let themselves go easily at times like this.

But yet again, after that, 10 to 11 months of relentless work, I’d rather stick to the usual.

Oh Melacca! Entry #1

Well, Melacca is umm, well…strangely fun…and the people, strangely weird. Where are my Portuguese Egg Tarts, dammit.

The Cast


The Road: It’s barely lunchtime (yes, we took 2.30 – 3 hours to get to KL) and the rain is getting more ridiculous. Being the village kid that I am, reaching KL in less than 4 hours is well, surreal. Till I saw the reason why. We were ‘cruising’ at 170km/h consistently. Mahai!
The Death Driver doing her thing way above the speed-limit with her forever clueless but ever trusty back seat ‘sri-lankan-dude’ cheering her on. “Yeah man!” We could’ve have break some records by reaching Melacca in less than 4 hours. It felt really possible, but then the rain…it just wouldn’t stop. It just won’t. Hence we have to make un-called for stops for smokes. Oh well, break the record next time lah. And just like every holiday trip, the rain stops upon our arrival. Sunshine! Oh babeh…